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5 signs that indicate you’re a people pleaser and why you should give it up NOW

Published on:11 March 2021, 16:32pm IST
You can’t keep everyone happy, period! That’s why we want you to identify the signs of being a people pleaser, and take care of your mental health.
Nikita Bhardwaj
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People pleasing is not a sin but you need to take care of yourself. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

People pleasing might make others happy, but people pleasing attitudes can take a toll on your mental health. We aren’t saying you have to stop being good to others, but when it becomes stressful and gives you anxiety, it starts to become a problem. That’s exactly why it is important to identify certain signs of people pleasing, so that you can keep a check on them for your own mental peace and well-being. 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are constantly scrutinised. Even if people are extra sweet and polite, others always feel there is some selfish motive behind this behaviour. Also, always trying to please everyone and pushing yourself to do things for others leads to a vacuum in your life. That’s because it hardly gives you time to think about yourself and your needs. This can prove to be detrimental to your mental well-being and in the longer run, can lead to problems like anxiety and even depression.

That’s why you need to know when to press a pause button to preserve some energy for you. Because if you are not happy, you just can’t spread happiness around the world – doesn’t matter how hard you try.

So, when is it time to stop being a people pleaser?

Well, here are some signs that will help you understand when to put a stop to your people pleasing behaviour:
1. You find it hard to say NO

We always underestimate the power of saying no, and if you are someone who just can’t say no to others, even if you want to, then you are a people pleaser.

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2. You are always apologetic

If you are a people pleaser, you always have a fear of losing people with your words or actions. Therefore, even if you are not at fault, you tend to be apologetic and take the entire blame on you. This is unnecessary guilt that you burden yourself with, which makes things utterly stressful for you.

3. You agree with everybody

Although, it is not bad but you need to put your point across as well. Agreeing with everyone also sends out a message that you are spineless and have no opinion about what is being discussed. So, saying yes all the time is not always a great idea.

4. You hardly have time for yourself

Well, this is something unsaid. If you are too busy in making life comfortable for the people around you, you will hardly have any time for yourself. This not just makes you mentally exhausted, but there’s also physical fatigue.

You must remember that self-care is also important to stay happy and content.

5. You want everyone to like you

That can be one of the reasons that you are pleasing people all the time. This feeling can arise due to low self-esteem and insecurities that dwell inside of them. And trust us, it is a sign that you are tarnishing your mental well-being.

The problem is when you get to know that someone doesn’t like you the way you do, it upsets you and hurts your feelings. This makes you frustrated and you feel irritable all the time, especially in the presence of that person in particular.

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Will you be able to stop being a people pleaser?

Well, the answer to this is a big yes; it’s a little hard but not impossible. You need to work on yourself and need to identify people who actually deserve your love, care, and time. Also, you need to understand that always being subservient can also backfire – that’s why, being aware is of utmost importance.

Take time out for yourself. Indulge in the things that you like and make you happy. This way, you won’t feel burdened, and when you do it, you will do it willfully and not by force.

So ladies, always remember to please yourself first and then move on to others.

Nikita Bhardwaj Nikita Bhardwaj

Six-pack abs are all that Nikita needs, along with her daily dose of green tea. At Health Shots, she produces videos, podcasts, stories, and other kick-ass content.