Insecurity can kill your relationship! 8 ways to overcome it

A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. But it becomes complicated when one or both partners feel insecure. Insecurity in a relationship refers to a person’s lack of confidence or self-doubt. Insecure individuals may constantly seek reassurance, struggle with jealousy, or exhibit controlling behaviours as a way to cope with their anxieties. These feelings can cause a lack of trust and create an unhealthy space in your relationship. If you are also going through the same thing, read on to learn how to deal with insecurities in a relationship.

What are the signs of insecurity in a relationship?

Want to know if there is insecurity in your relationship? Here are some signs –

• Seeking frequent validation and reassurance from partner to feel secure.
• Jealousy and possessiveness.
• An intense fear of being abandoned or rejected.
• Overthinking and imagining negative scenarios.
• Constant self-doubt and harsh self-criticism.
• A strong dependence on the partner for emotional well-being.
• Difficult to get intimate with partner.
• Stress between the partners, resulting in a lack of attachment.
• Checking the phone of partner.

How to deal with insecurity in relationship?

If you notice these signs in your behaviour, there is a high chance that you are insecure in your relationship. To learn how to avoid feeling insecure and trust your partner, check out these tips shared by senior psychiatrist Dr Jyoti Kapoor.

1. Open communication

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a strong relationship. If you’re feeling insecure, it’s essential to express your thoughts and emotions to your partner. Share your concerns without blaming them or making accusations. Create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable discussing their feelings, fears, and insecurities. By fostering open communication, you build trust and understanding, which are vital in overcoming insecurity.

2. Establish boundaries

Dr Kapoor says, “Clearly defined boundaries are essential in any relationship. Insecurity can arise when boundaries are unclear or constantly violated.” Take the time to discuss and establish boundaries with your partner, ensuring that both of you feel comfortable and respected. Setting healthy boundaries not only helps address insecurities but also promotes mutual understanding and respect within the relationship.

Also read: 15 telltale signs your partner is disrespecting you

3. Work on building trust

Living with insecurities can be painful, and it can make things difficult in a relationship. Dr Kapoor shares that trust is a fundamental aspect of any successful relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, there are chances that you may engage in unhealthy behaviour towards each other.” To build trust in your relationship, spend some quality time together, be there for each other physically and emotionally, and avoid overthinking. This will help build trust, making your partner feel secure in the relationship.

4. Self-reflection

Insecurity often has roots in personal insecurities and past experiences. Take time for self-reflection to understand the origins of your insecurities. Are they based on past relationships, childhood experiences, or self-esteem issues? Identifying the root cause can help you address these issues directly and work towards healing. Consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor to navigate and understand your feelings more deeply.

5. Build self-esteem

Low self-esteem is one of the most common causes of feeling insecure in a relationship. It exposes you to doubting your worth and questioning your partner. To overcome this, work on strengthening your self-esteem. Dr Kapoor suggests, “Focus on your strengths and achievements and recognise your worth independent of the relationship. You may also engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.” Make sure you have surrounded yourself with a supportive social network that uplifts and encourages you. By doing so, you become less dependent on external validation, reducing the impact of insecurity on your relationship.

6. Provide emotional support

Sometimes insecurities arise when you don’t get emotional support from your partner. Emotional support is about providing love, support, encouragement, and reassurance, especially when your partner is sad or stressed. Dr Kapoor says to be there for them in their low time, ask questions if they are okay, validate their feelings, support your partner in public or anywhere where it is required, and share your feelings as well. This will provide comfort and boost understanding.

Also read: Make these 12 emotional needs a priority in your relationship!

7. Seek reassurance positively

It’s natural to seek reassurance from your partner, but how you approach it matters. Instead of seeking reassurance in a clingy or demanding manner, express your needs positively and constructively. Share your feelings with your partner, and tell them how they can support you. By positively framing your requests for reassurance, you avoid creating unnecessary tension and reinforce the idea that you are on the same team.

8. Take professional help

If insecurity in the relationship persists despite efforts to address it, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Dr Kapoor advises, “A couples therapist or counselor can provide guidance and ways to navigate through challenges.” Professional assistance offers a different perspective on the situation and facilitates communication, helping both partners explore and understand their insecurities. Don’t hesitate to seek help if needed!

It may take time to overcome your insecurities, but with these tips, you may see a positive change in you and your relationship!