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Toxic shaming: Influencer Devina Kaur shares tips for dealing with trolls

Updated on:19 April 2021, 15:24pm IST
Trolls will spread hatred and negativity. But you can protect yourself from their toxic behaviour only if you have a loving relationship with yourself.
Devina Kaur
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Trolling
There’s nothing more confusing for a troll than to be met with kindness! Image courtesy: Devina Kaur
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“Being fat is neither sexy nor brilliant.”

This was a comment left on one of my YouTube videos by an anonymous troll. This person was not the first nor the last to echo a similar view. You’re probably already aware of the fact that trolling is prevalent in our society. Shamers use the internet to project their insecurities onto other people by spreading negativity and hate. The thing is that when we have toa loving relationship with ourselves, it becomes easier to treat the hateful trolls with kid-gloves by showing them love, understanding and forgiveness in return.

The first step to changing the culture of toxic shame is helping people come to terms with their own identity. Trolls want you to feel bad about your identity because they haven’t come to terms with their own. Being able to keep ourselves centred and grounded helps us to become unshakeable from the inside. As strange as it may sound, I have been in a loving relationship with some of my trolls for many years and here are my top three tips!

1. Be assertive

Speaking up is about knowing that our voices matter. With this realisation, you are able to help yourself as well as others in their journey of discovering their own voice. Sometimes, we have to be LOUD for our voices to be heard. This means being able to stand up against toxic shame without directly engaging in it. Remove yourself from the drama, the hate, the negative energy and rise above worldly expectations. 

We are allowed to be strong and assertive. It is so sexy when we are able to have control over our thoughts, reactions and emotions. This also enables us to be in control of our destinies in a brilliant way.

2. Love the enemy

Authenticity is the best gift we can give to ourselves and others. Owning up to yourself allows you to love your eccentricities. The more you develop a loving relationship with yourself, the better you become at sending love and light to your haters, learning to forgive them in the process of your own journey. Start by knowing, accepting and having a loving relationship with your ego because it will translate into you having a loving relationship with everyone, including the trolls. There’s nothing more confusing for a hater than being responded to with kindness and positive energy!

3. Dare to show-up

So what if you’ve been told you’re too fat, too dark, too tall or too small? We all have something unique about ourselves that the world deserves to know about. It took me a while to understand that my identity is not dependent on what others think or say about me but on what I value and cherish about myself. That’s why I always choose to show up as who I am! Focus on connecting to your inner power and divinity. Explore and be empowered by versions of yourself that remain untouchable even by negative external influences. It’s what being sexy and brilliant is all about!

Devina Kaur Devina Kaur

Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious".