Having a romantic partner means a lot of things to us. Your partner is someone whom you can share your joys and sorrows with. True, there are ups and downs in every relationship, but if you feel that your partner is more like a roommate, something is missing. When there is a lack of emotional connect with your partner, you can feel lonely. It is important that you first find out the reasons behind it and then take the necessary steps to tackle it.
Health Shots reached out to psychotherapist, life and business coach Dr Chandni Tugnait, for some tips on how to deal with loneliness in a relationship.
If you think that only a long distance relationship can make you feel lonely, you are wrong. You may feel lonely in a romantic relationship for several reasons. Here are some of them:
If you don’t feel emotionally connected to your partner, you can feel lonely, says Dr Tugnait. This can happen if your partner is not supportive, doesn’t listen to you, or doesn’t share his feelings and emotions with you.
You must have heard it many times, but it’s true that communication is key in any relationship. You may feel lonely if you don’t feel heard or understood by your partner. This can be because there is a lack of effective communication or differences in communication styles.
Having different interests or values can be interesting sometimes, but not always. This can lead to you feeling neglected as there will be a lack of shared experiences and a feeling of disconnection, says the expert.
Trust is an important aspect of any relationship, so you may feel lonely if you think you can’t trust your partner. Trust issues can pop up if your partner has betrayed his trust in some way or if he has a history of past relationships where trust was an issue.
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You can begin by communicating openly and honestly with your partner about how you are feeling. You can express your concerns and work together to make things better. You can also do the following:
Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally can help to improve overall well-being and reduce feelings of loneliness, says Dr Tugnait. So, get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, engage in physical activities, practise mindfulness and meditation, spend time with friends or engage in hobbies.
It’s okay to take help or support from friends, family or a therapist. Talking to someone about your feelings can provide you with a different perspective and help you feel less alone.
You can focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and practice gratitude. By doing so, you can appreciate the good things in the relationship and reduce feelings of loneliness.
You can work on improving your communication skills and finding ways to express your feelings effectively. This can help you feel more heard and understood in the relationship. This can involve things like active listening, using “I” statements, and avoiding criticism or defensiveness, explains the expert. It’s also important to actively listen to your partner’s response and work together to find solutions.
Trying new activities or experiences together can create shared experiences and a greater sense of connection. You can take a class together, try a new hobby or travel to a new place.
You can set goals with your partner and work towards them as a team. This way it will help to create a sense of purpose and direction in the relationship. So be it setting financial goals or planning a vacation or working towards a shared career aspiration, you can do it all.
Taking breaks from the relationship can also help as it provides time and space to reflect on feelings and what you want from the relationship. You can take a solo vacation or spend time with friends and family.
Just remember that relationships take work, so don’t call it quits easily.