Are you feeling lonely in your relationship? Here’s how to deal with it

You don't have to be alone to feel lonely. Even if you are married or have a boyfriend, you can still feel lonely in a relationship. Let's check out the reasons behind it and how to deal with it.
relationship mistakes
Tips to deal with loneliness in a relationship. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock
Natalia Ningthoujam Published: 11 Apr 2023, 18:15 pm IST
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Having a romantic partner means a lot of things to us. Your partner is someone whom you can share your joys and sorrows with. True, there are ups and downs in every relationship, but if you feel that your partner is more like a roommate, something is missing. When there is a lack of emotional connect with your partner, you can feel lonely. It is important that you first find out the reasons behind it and then take the necessary steps to tackle it.

Health Shots reached out to psychotherapist, life and business coach Dr Chandni Tugnait, for some tips on how to deal with loneliness in a relationship.

feeling lonely in relationship
You can feel lonely even if you are in a relationship. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock

Reasons why you may feel lonely in a relationship

If you think that only a long distance relationship can make you feel lonely, you are wrong. You may feel lonely in a romantic relationship for several reasons. Here are some of them:

1. Lack of emotional connection

If you don’t feel emotionally connected to your partner, you can feel lonely, says Dr Tugnait. This can happen if your partner is not supportive, doesn’t listen to you, or doesn’t share his feelings and emotions with you.

2. Communication problems

You must have heard it many times, but it’s true that communication is key in any relationship. You may feel lonely if you don’t feel heard or understood by your partner. This can be because there is a lack of effective communication or differences in communication styles.

3. Different interests or values

Having different interests or values can be interesting sometimes, but not always. This can lead to you feeling neglected as there will be a lack of shared experiences and a feeling of disconnection, says the expert.

4. Trust issues

Trust is an important aspect of any relationship, so you may feel lonely if you think you can’t trust your partner. Trust issues can pop up if your partner has betrayed his trust in some way or if he has a history of past relationships where trust was an issue.

Here’s how to deal with feeling lonely in a relationship

You can begin by communicating openly and honestly with your partner about how you are feeling. You can express your concerns and work together to make things better. You can also do the following:

1. Practice self-care

Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally can help to improve overall well-being and reduce feelings of loneliness, says Dr Tugnait. So, get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, engage in physical activities, practise mindfulness and meditation, spend time with friends or engage in hobbies.

feeling lonely in relationship
Set goals together for a healthy relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

2. Seek support

It’s okay to take help or support from friends, family or a therapist. Talking to someone about your feelings can provide you with a different perspective and help you feel less alone.

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3. Focus on gratitude

You can focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and practice gratitude. By doing so, you can appreciate the good things in the relationship and reduce feelings of loneliness.

4. Work on communication skills

You can work on improving your communication skills and finding ways to express your feelings effectively. This can help you feel more heard and understood in the relationship. This can involve things like active listening, using “I” statements, and avoiding criticism or defensiveness, explains the expert. It’s also important to actively listen to your partner’s response and work together to find solutions.

5. Try new things together

Trying new activities or experiences together can create shared experiences and a greater sense of connection. You can take a class together, try a new hobby or travel to a new place.

6. Set goals together

You can set goals with your partner and work towards them as a team. This way it will help to create a sense of purpose and direction in the relationship. So be it setting financial goals or planning a vacation or working towards a shared career aspiration, you can do it all.

7. Take breaks

Taking breaks from the relationship can also help as it provides time and space to reflect on feelings and what you want from the relationship. You can take a solo vacation or spend time with friends and family.

Just remember that relationships take work, so don’t call it quits easily.

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About the Author

Natalia Ningthoujam has written on various subjects - from music to films and fashion to lifestyle - as a journalist in her career that started in 2010. After getting stories from the crime scene, police headquarters, and conducting interviews with celebrities, she is now writing on health and wellness which has become her focus area. ...Read More

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