8 tips to communicate with your partner when you’re angry or upset

When you are angry with your partner, it is important to approach the situation with a level head. Read on to find out how to communicate with your partner when you are angry.
Tips to communicate when you are angry
Exercise caution while communicating when you are angry! Image courtesy: Adobe Stock
Natalia Ningthoujam Published: 24 Feb 2023, 12:32 pm IST
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No matter how much you love your partner, there will be times when you will have arguments. But when things get heated up and you end up yelling or shouting at your partner, it can destroy the love you both have for each other. Yelling at your partner can shut them down and worsen the situation as it removes all possibility for communication. You should be careful and know how to communicate with your partner when you are angry. Of course, without the yelling or shouting!

HealthShots reached out to psychologist Dr Malini Saba, who shared how to talk to your partner when you are mad at them.

She says it is important to remember that you are a team and any issue should not be approached as a competition. Talk to them regularly, kindly and directly about what’s making your angry, says the expert. For the relationship to work, communicate with your partner when you are angry with them and try to find long-term solutions that work for you both (how lack of communication affects your relationship).

anger in relationship
Communicate what you feel without shouting. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Tips communicate with partner when you are angry

Anger can often escalate a bad situation, so when you are angry with your partner, approach the situation with a level head (ways to cool down your anger during a fight with your partner).

1. Find the source of your anger

Is your partner’s specific habit testing your patience or you are just having a bad day? Understand what exactly is making you angry then communicate clearly about it. It is important to let your partner know what triggered your anger.

2. Be specific and address the problem

There is no point in dropping hints or yelling at your partner. Be specific about what hurt your feelings in the first place.

3. Speak softly and kindly

Yelling can often worsen the situation. Shouting at your partner can cause further damage to the situation and possibly hurt them as well. So, speak softly and articulate, suggests Dr Saba.

4. Be open to a discussion

It’s not just about your and your anger issues. Understand their point of view and approach the issue with a problem-solving approach. Be open to their suggestions and where they are coming from. Understand what they have to say or why they did what they did.

anger in relationship
Be open to discussions. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

5. Don’t be passive aggressive

The punishment approach or passive aggressive behaviour doesn’t do any good to anyone. It doesn’t solve the problem and can cause you stress, so just be direct.

6. Take a solution-based approach

Understand that it’s not you versus them, but you both versus the problem you are facing. So, approach the situation accordingly.

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7. Take some time to collect your thoughts

Tightened emotions can sometimes cause you to overreact or express anger in negative ways. Take time out to sort your thoughts before talking to your partner if the situation is overwhelming.

8. Talk to a professional for anger management

If you are unable to handle your anger or there is a specific problem between your and your partner, take a professional’s help to address the issues.

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About the Author

Natalia Ningthoujam has written on various subjects - from music to films and fashion to lifestyle - as a journalist in her career that started in 2010. After getting stories from the crime scene, police headquarters, and conducting interviews with celebrities, she is now writing on health and wellness which has become her focus area. ...Read More

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