Love and relationships are complicated. But what makes them even more difficult is being with someone, who is nothing but toxicity in the guise of a “loving” partner.
Surely, it can take some time and a lot of thinking to figure out that your partner is simply ruining your mental health. But here are five subtle signs that you can try matching according to the award-winning clinical psychotherapist and relationship counsellor, Aparna Samuel Balasundaram.
1. He is “too protective”
Ladies, there’s a thin line between caring and toxic possessiveness or a controlling attitude. Hence, if he calls you to ask how your day went or if you’re doing fine, consider that all’s well in your paradise.
However, if those calls are to interrogate you about your whereabouts, that too very frequently, you’ve got to be careful.
“Sometimes, you might mistake this behaviour for love or care from your partner’s side, but it could be a part of his controlling nature,” Balasundaram warns.
2. He gaslights you
She even points out at a rather unnoticeable phenomenon called ‘gaslighting’ in relationships, wherein, your manipulative partner can convince you to question your own memory.
For instance, you could have been hanging out with a friend for, say, an hour by the clock, but he could make you doubt that by reinforcing with conviction that you took as long as 3 hours.
In the end, you might just start doubting your own self, if nothing else.
3. It’s all about him, all the time
The fact that you feel overtly responsible for your partner’s wellbeing and happiness is yet another sign of a toxic relationship that can hamper your mental health, according to Balasundaram.
Additionally, if you place his needs above yours, it can pose a problem too.
“Sometimes, you may end up giving up a huge part of your identity and core values just to please your partner. You may even end up making too many compromises for him, often without any reciprocation from his side,” she says.
“This, in the long run, can lead to a loss of self-identity and ruin your mental health,” she adds.
4. You guys have too many fights and arguments
Fights don’t just ruin your mood, they can ruin your mental health too.
“You could become anxious, have a disturbed sleeping pattern, or resort to emotional eating when upset because of fights with your partner,” Balasundaram points out.
Needless to say, if this happens quite often, beware!
5. He’s critical of you
While constructive criticism can help you improve yourself, criticism that’s meant to pull you down can negatively impact your self-esteem and confidence, according to Balasundaram.
“Comments like ‘you look fat in this dress’, ‘I don’t like the way you’ve tied your hair’, ‘I hate what you’re wearing’, from your partner are surely warning signs, which are not meant to be ignored,” she says.
So, what should you do about it?
If you could relate to the signs talked-about above, here’s what you can do to protect yourself from falling into the trap.
So, give it a thought and make an informed decision for yourself.