“I feel sexy, no matter my size,” says author Devina Kaur. Here’s how you can too

Have you ever been fat shamed? Worse still, have you ever been fat shamed by someone close to you?

I was recently fat shamed on social media. I was not only fat shamed but I was shamed for being the person that I am. The person fat-shaming me left a comment that read: “It isn’t divine nor brilliant to be OBESE.”

This comment, especially from someone close to me, bothered me and it made me feel angry and very uncomfortable. Since I knew this person, my ego was hurt even further, and I wanted to retaliate and teach them a lesson for such a horrific comment. 

After a few days of reflection and seeking help from my therapist I understood that the retaliation part was not from a kind place. I had to come back to my heart space, forgive them and remind myself that how we judge others is just a reflection of what is going on inside of ourselves. 

So yes, I struggle with my weight, I have always been overweight. Many yo-yo diets later I have come to have a loving relationship with who I am and what my body size is like. I feel sexy no matter what size I am and you should too! 

Here are 3 ways you can feel sexier everyday in spite of external factors: 

1. Self-knowledge

Know who you are. Self-knowledge can help you in discovering more self-love. The most important thing for each of us to focus on right now with our ever-changing world with covid-19 is our personal evolution.

Learn about yourself and what you like and dislike. Know your good side but also know your darkness, whether that is your ego, your anger, or your shy side. Self-knowledge is a powerful tool and it can help you deal with the outside chaos, including the trolling that you may be facing online much better. Remember no part of you is your enemy including your weaknesses.

2. Self-acceptance

When you know who you are, and what your purpose is in the world, then you will be able to practice radical self-acceptance. Accept yourself for exactly who you are. That means having a relationship with your good side but also having a relationship with your darkness. Radical self-acceptance can help you feel empowered everyday. Remember that the journey to more self-love is LOVE itself.

3. Unlearn

In a world that tells us that we are never good enough, on social media, on public platforms, even in our communities, and families—we constantly have to make space for ourselves to be seen and to be heard. This is possible when we unlearn preconceived ideations that have been forced upon us.

Deprogramming ourselves from societal pressures might take a lifetime but it is the most important conscious choice you will make for yourself. Most importantly, forgive the people who have hurt you and forgive yourself. Kindness towards the self is your new best friend.

We can feel sexy without being objectified for our size, our gender, our sexuality or for being authentic. This starts with having self-awareness of who you are! And this self-awareness helps us in making self-love a priority. Self-acceptance is sexy!