6 reasons why getting back together with your ex is a truly terrible idea

Getting back with your ex can be a really traumatising experience for your mental health.
Your mental health matters more than your ex. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
Shreya Gupta Published: 1 Dec 2020, 18:34 pm IST

The period right after the breakup can be extremely difficult, especially if you parted ways on bad terms. Over time, things do get better and you begin to heal emotionally. This, however, doesn’t mean that you don’t miss the time you spent with your former partner and the memories you made together. At times, such thoughts might even result in you doubting the decision to break up.

These memories and the emotions you attach to them are experienced quite commonly. Hence, you’ll find many couples who get back together after a massive break up. What happens after that, though? Well, they repeat the same mistakes, behavioural patterns and end up hurting each other further. In such a situation, it is definitely not advisable to get back with your ex because it will result in prolonging emotional trauma.

Also, read: A psychologist reveals 4 pieces of bad relationship advice you must never follow

These are six important reasons as to why you need to avoid getting back with your ex for the sake of your mental health:

1. You would be settling

It doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup, the bottom line is that it happened. It happened because it wasn’t serving anyone well. Maybe you thought it isn’t working out or that you deserve better. So, going back to the same person now would be a clear case of settling, denying yourself the happiness and mental peace you deserve.

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2. Some things do not change

The basic nature of a person doesn’t change overnight. You shouldn’t fall for any changes that you notice. You might get into the same cycle and situations. If you’re in such a situation, it is important to ask yourself why these changes didn’t come about when you were still together. This question will put things in perspective for you.

3. It can get emotionally abusive

Imagine you’re back with your ex. Now what? It could result in your partner taking you for granted and putting you through the same emotional distress knowing fully well that you will come back to them. This is clearly a form of emotional abuse that you need to cut out of your life.

4. You will end up in the same cycle

You’ve probably noticed people breaking up, getting back together and then separating all over again. If anything, you’ve been a part of such a cycle yourself. Fall back on your experience instead of repeating the same mistake and making this cyclic. It is only going to cost you your mental sanity.

5. It might feel like an emotionally heavy task

When things are complicated, getting back with your ex can feel like a task that will leave you emotionally drained. You might be putting in extra emotional effort this time to make things work. Investing your time and energy might result in ignoring your mental health.

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Toxic relationships are bad for your mental health. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Also, read: Are you in a toxic relationship? Here are 5 tell-tale signs to look out for

6. Unresolved issues might come back

You broke up for a reason. Ask yourself if it was addressed and solved properly. If your answer is no, there’s a high chance that it will very much be a part of your equation with your former partner. Spare yourself the trouble, especially if your ex is not willing to resolve the issue.

Loving someone comes naturally but if this love hurts you then you’d rather stay away from it!

Shreya Gupta

Finding nirvana in good food, Shreya also loves reading books and is a die-hard Potterhead. Confident and motivated she's fun to be with. Plus food. Always. ...Read More

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