A bad marriage and personal loss pushed me towards depression. Here’s how I am coping

For 35-year-old content creator June Udita, battling depression and anxiety is a part of life-one that she is determined to win.
Meet June Udita, who refuses to let her depression win.
Reader Submission Updated: 27 Apr 2021, 16:47 pm IST
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Hello everyone! I am June and I’ve seen 35 summers in my life so far. Professionally, I am an enthusiastic content creator on Trell. I’m also a mother to a very special puppy, Elsa. These are the two key things that drive me every day in my life. I have been a depression survivor for quite some time now. 

My tryst with depression

It all started in 2013 with a bad marriage, wherein I was subjected to extremes of mental and physical domestic abuse. I was just coming to terms with that wave when a fresh one struck me in 2019 with the untimely and sudden demise of my father.

Meet, June. Image courtesy: June Udita

I was always a very happy-go-lucky person, filled with life and positivity. But these two incidents have had a major effect on my life. The first one shook me up, as I was subjected to gory experiences daily. The marriage lasted for only 45 days but it was enough to throw me off my usual liveliness. 

It took me quite a while to pick myself up and move ahead in life. I was just on the verge of conquering depression when my father got diagnosed with colon cancer and passed away with no warning. It all happened in such a hurry that I felt lost. My greatest pillar of strength and support was no longer with me. Life felt hollow and empty without him. 

My depression was accompanied by anxiety

It is not like I was depressed all the time. I would get anxiety and panic attacks once in a while. At that time, I felt as if the entire world was closing in on me and I would literally gasp for breath. Since, in my family, depression is considered taboo, I couldn’t even seek medical help. 

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I realized the intensity of the situation and figured I am on my own. It is a battle I would need to fight on my own. After that, every time I would get an attack, I would take deep breaths, drink water and keep chanting to myself, “I will not let depression conquer me. I am a fighter. I will win.” Trust me I know it’s easier said than done. It was quite a difficult battle, one that I continue to fight till date—but I choose to overcome and win rather than just giving up.

This is my story, the story of a woman who has depression and is yet living life to the fullest and most importantly, smiling and striving to place a smile on others’ faces.

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