A bad marriage and personal loss pushed me towards depression. Here’s how I am coping

Hello everyone! I am June and I’ve seen 35 summers in my life so far. Professionally, I am an enthusiastic content creator on Trell. I’m also a mother to a very special puppy, Elsa. These are the two key things that drive me every day in my life. I have been a depression survivor for quite some time now. 

My tryst with depression

It all started in 2013 with a bad marriage, wherein I was subjected to extremes of mental and physical domestic abuse. I was just coming to terms with that wave when a fresh one struck me in 2019 with the untimely and sudden demise of my father.

I was always a very happy-go-lucky person, filled with life and positivity. But these two incidents have had a major effect on my life. The first one shook me up, as I was subjected to gory experiences daily. The marriage lasted for only 45 days but it was enough to throw me off my usual liveliness. 

It took me quite a while to pick myself up and move ahead in life. I was just on the verge of conquering depression when my father got diagnosed with colon cancer and passed away with no warning. It all happened in such a hurry that I felt lost. My greatest pillar of strength and support was no longer with me. Life felt hollow and empty without him. 

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My depression was accompanied by anxiety

It is not like I was depressed all the time. I would get anxiety and panic attacks once in a while. At that time, I felt as if the entire world was closing in on me and I would literally gasp for breath. Since, in my family, depression is considered taboo, I couldn’t even seek medical help. 

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I realized the intensity of the situation and figured I am on my own. It is a battle I would need to fight on my own. After that, every time I would get an attack, I would take deep breaths, drink water and keep chanting to myself, “I will not let depression conquer me. I am a fighter. I will win.” Trust me I know it’s easier said than done. It was quite a difficult battle, one that I continue to fight till date—but I choose to overcome and win rather than just giving up.

This is my story, the story of a woman who has depression and is yet living life to the fullest and most importantly, smiling and striving to place a smile on others’ faces.