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Growing up, most of us have been subjected to constant nagging and policing by our parents. And as much as it is understandable that they have our best interest at heart—after a point, nagging just becomes a habit. And at times, it doesn’t even make much or any sense.
We understand that having to deal with the constant nagging can get pretty exhausting, especially as a grown-up. And no matter how great your equation with your parents is, sometimes it can be very difficult to get them to see things from your point of view.
Either way, fighting it is not the solution. But then what is? Take a look at how you can deal with your nagging parents to find out.
1. Listen to what they have to say
As cliché as it sounds, it is important that you try to listen to whatever it is that they have to say. Even though it could be annoying, have an open mind about what they’re saying. You will realize that some of it will make sense and make you introspect, while some won’t. Wait till they are done, be selective, and don’t take things to heart.
2. Define time limits when you are given a task
When they give you a task to do, give them a definitive time by when it’s possible for you to do it. Ensure that you let them know that you can’t get to it before that.
This will give you the liberty to carry out the chore as you see fit and will also take the pressure of your parents because they know you’re going to get it done.
3. Tell them that their nagging bothers you
You must talk to them about how the nagging affects you, rather than bottling it all up and having an outburst later.
Being upfront and bringing up your grievances as and when they come up will help you put them forth in a better manner.
A passive situation will help them understand things better and also make them realize that there are better ways to communicate with family. Just try not to lose your calm or antagonize them as that can truly make matters worse.
4. Maintain open communication with your parents
Nagging mostly happens when there is a lack of communication. Once there is clear cut communication from both sides, it limits the amount of confusion and reduces the need to nag.
If you have been arguing with your parents all your life, then having open conversations might take you some time but is definitely going to be worth it. Be patient if it doesn’t come naturally at first. But make persistent and conscious efforts to talk to them about your feelings and asking them about theirs.
5. Explain how nagging is unhealthy for them
Parents, over the years, become habitual to nagging and don’t really consider or realise how unhealthy it is for you and even for their own selves.
Try and make them see how the nagging is affecting both of your mental health, and work as a team to minimize the pressure.
6. Don’t sacrifice your emotional health in the process of trying to be respectful
Remember to take your emotional health into consideration. There are going to be times when everything will seem like it’s falling apart. During such times, don’t neglect yourself, take a break from all the chaos, and look out for yourself. Engage in calming activities that will help you clear your head and start afresh.
7. Set some boundaries
Once you are open to your parents and there is a certain level of comfort and understanding amongst yourselves. It may be helpful to get together and list down some clear boundaries.
8. Make them aware of the fact that they are nagging when they are doing so
Even though you have had the talk, even though they understood, and even though the family has laid down rules against nagging—natural instincts or habits do have a tendency to reappear. If they ever nag you again after all this, make sure you point it out without being aggressive about it.
Remember, that your parents are human too and are allowed to make mistakes and have flaws. Try to be patient with them and understand them the way you wish they understood you.
However, in this process, make sure you are also looking out for your emotional well-being and don’t let it take a toll on you.