It begins with having to look at just one face all day, all night and grows into a complete invasion of your personal space. It then goes on to your partner creating a mess in the house. Hence commences the unhealthy fights with your partner during quarantine lockdown.
It commences to practicing a lot of self-control and not letting their annoying habits or your sheer frustration make you yell at them. However, the complete Bigg-Boss-like lockdown situation leaves you with no option, but to lose your cool and burst out.
Fights ensue, heated arguments happen, and a war-like situation arises, making it almost unbearable for you to spend another day with yo guy.
Does the covid-19 pandemic lockdown with your partner look like this? Nope, you’re not the only one facing this problem.
“The covid -19 pandemic has reportedly led to a major increase in the number of domestic violence cases and divorce rates in China and elsewhere following the lockdown,” acknowledges Dr. Vasanth R., consultant psychiatrist, Fortis Malar Hospital, Chennai.
If you’re wondering why that happens, here’s a list of factors explained by him to answer your query:
1. Doubts about survival can lead to anxiety
To begin with, the fear of probability of survival and the fear of contracting the disease can lead to anxiety and lead to a surge in the level of adrenaline, a hormone secreted by the adrenal glands that increases rates of blood circulation and breathing. This can further lead to impulsivity and increased anger outbursts.
2. The financial burdens make it worse
Economic burdens and financial and job insecurities can also lead to heightened fears resulting in overwhelming emotions/frustration, that you could end up venting on your partner, leading to more fights.
3. There are no time-outs
Prior to the lockdown, there would be a window period, wherein the couple would not see each other and get enough time and opportunities to distract themselves by going out or meeting friends and family, allowing them enough time to blow off the steam.
However, being locked-in with your partner means that there is no break or time-out during/after an argument as both the partners have no option but to stay around each other.
So, how can you keep the covid-19 pandemic lockdown from destroying your relationship?
Now that you know what makes you lock horns with your partner, let’s look at the possible ways to avoid this situation. Here’s what Vasanth recommends:
1. Focus on the brighter side of the situation
Before this, your hectic life would not have allowed you to understand and get to know each other well. Think of those days when you would complain about the lack of time you gave to each other and presently, think of the lockdown as an opportunity to spend more time with your partner and to get to know him from scratch, with a fresh perspective.
2. Fix a routine
Being at home does not mean you do not have to have a disciplined routine. Set up a schedule to manage housework and office work together and stay organized. This will help clear your mind, ease off the tension between you two, keep the both of you from feeling overwhelmed, and keep the unnecessary arguments at bay because you’d both have something to do.
3. Do one common activity everyday
Bond with your partner during this quarantine over a common favourite activity as doing so can strengthen your relationship. Activities such as gardening, board games, listening to your favourite music, dancing together or even doing yoga can help you a great deal.
4. Strike a fresh cord with your man
Learn something new about your partner each day. Make an effort to understand his liking/interest towards something and give him a patient hearing as he gushes over it. This way you can make them feel special and heard. Plus, you get to open up your mind towards trying out a new potential activity with him.
5. Remember to give yourself some ‘me time’
Don’t forget to give yourself some quality time and do the things that you’ve been meaning to do for yourself! Pick up that book you’ve been putting off to read, start journaling, watch your favourite sitcom or just about anything that makes you feel special. Making time for yourself during this time helps freshen and rejuvenate your mind and equip it to handle conflicts more sensibly as well.
6. Avoid frequent discussions over the pandemic
Do not talk about or watch news about the virus too often. Anything in excess isn’t good and overconsumption of negative news can increase your anxiety levels, which can lead to fear-filled conversations. Hence, pick up other common, neutral topics to discuss with your partner, that do not cause worry.
7. Reassure each other and make future plans together
Instead of focussing on what is being lost, focus on reassuring each other about your finances and savings during this time.
Now that both of you have the time, work towards planning your finances well to make sure you do not have to worry for the future.