“I feel so stuck” Or “I’m a Stuck-asaurus”. Clearly, emotions are about how you handle them. So, whether you are a Deepika Padukone version of a ‘hot mess’ in
‘Gehraiyaan’ – an adult ridden by childhood trauma – or an innocent four-year-old who sees humour in being stuck while snowboarding, your approach towards how to avoid feeling stuck can make a world of difference.
While Gehraiyaan itself has not managed to leave a very deep an impact on people, that feeling of stagnancy, of being unfulfilled and stranded that Deepika’s character Alisha feels, has found a resonance among some people. Of course, for some it turned out to be a meme-fest, but let us not ignore how Covid-19 times, especially, have left people at crossroads – be it on the personal or professional front. People lost loved ones, leaving them emotionally scarred for life. They got ousted from jobs, denting their confidence. They struggled with keeping up with relationships and multitude roles.
From one lens, Alisha taking the significant first step of acknowledging ‘feeling stuck’ and sharing it, is itself a masterstroke portrayed by Deepika, one of Bollywood’s flag-bearers for mental health awareness. Sharing matters, because mental health matters.
In stark contrast to the conversation around Gehraiyaan, is a viral Instagram post of little Aubrin Sage. The little wonder has left the Insta-universe in awe of her cute motivational commentary during a snowboarding adventure – all while being dressed as a dinosaur! In the video, shared by her father, she is seen gliding
through ebbs and flows, with her microphone-recorded voice telling us exactly what she felt during her ride.
Her monologue is a mini-motivator. “I won’t fall… maybe I will.. That’s OK, ’cause we all fall.” And when she falls and finds it hard to get back on her feet, she
doesn’t crib or cry. Instead, she calls herself a ‘Stuck-asaurus’.
Metaphorically speaking, it’s a great example of how life will continue to come with its own set of unexpected twists and turns. It will throw up challenges, where you may have to struggle or feel stuck, but you’ve got to get up, get your act together, and move on.
That’s where the dots join between Alisha and Aubrin, in some way, isn’t it?
Come, watch Aubrin’s video right here!
If you have found yourself feeling stuck, we’ve got you some handy tips by Dr Chandni Tugnait, M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist and Life Coach.
“For many of us, it’s easy to feel stuck in relationships or career. Sometimes, though, it’s not that these aren’t working out, but rather that things are stagnating, and we don’t know where to go next,” Dr Tugnait tells HealthShots.
Here’s what you must do:
One of the most important things to do when you feel stuck is to let go of what has come before this current reality. The relationship or job that you feel you’re stuck in, may not be working because it reminds you too much of a past experience, and so you tend to keep those feelings alive. “The fear, doubt or comparisons with past, often make it hard to move forward with any excitement or vigour. Whatever the case may be, accept whatever isn’t working out and then move on from there,” says Dr Tugnait, Founder and Director – Gateway of Healing.
Another way to move on and to avoid feeling stuck is to see things more positively. You might find it easier, for example, to paint a negative picture of your partner or work situation – but by doing so, you are only perpetuating the feelings of stagnation and imbalance. Try instead to talk through what you’re feeling with someone else, who may be able to point out some positives in these situations that you hadn’t realized before. Or use visualization techniques to imagine how good it would feel in the future when things have changed and improved. This can really help motivate you towards positive change.
It’s important when we feel stuck to not just try and move forward in life, but also have a clear idea about which goals really matter the most to us. Being aware of our top goals can help direct us through the tough times, and keep us going in moments when we would rather throw in the towel. So try examining how much you want the things that you’re trying to achieve, and how much effort you are willing to put into get them.Use this as a barometer for taking action and to keep the zest going.
The world is full of people who claim to know exactly what they want from their careers or relationships, and yet would do anything in order to not break out of the old patterns or habits. This is often because they see change as too difficult. However, it doesn’t need to be this way if we take it one step at a time. Often, these small changes make the biggest difference to the level of fulfillment in our lives. So, try thinking of different ways in which you can re-shape your life – whether it is by leaving some things behind or embracing new ones. Be brave, and remember that even small changes can help keep us motivated for bigger ones down the line.
When making any sort of transition in life, there are always going to be some rough patches along the way. No matter how thorough our planning might be, or how many positive ways we try to see things in, some days will just seem like bad days, no matter what.The most important thing to realise in these scenarios is that it’s perfectly normal. It doesn’t mean it is time to give up, or that you are doing something wrong; it simply means that you are moving from one comfort zone towards another. Keep going even if you feel as if you can’t, and eventually those rough patches will become things of the past as your new life emerges.
Finally, another trick on how to avoid feeling stuck is to not take yourself too seriously. If we ever find ourselves becoming stressed or upset about events outside of our control or overthinking, this can create resistance and stop us from progressing forward with a positive mindset. See failure as learning and keep progressing. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself.
Take help from an expert if you are unable to cope on your own.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling stuck, try and see the lighter side of things – and know that even though things might seem tough at times, it’s amazing what we can achieve if we put our minds to it!