Do disagreements with friends or colleagues make you turn red? Do you often fume during arguments? If you said yes, then we suggest you keep reading.
While anger is a very natural emotion, if you find yourself getting angry at even a hint of a conflict, you could be putting your mental health and your relationships in danger. It is very important to control and manage your anger, and here’s how you can start:
1. Practice thinking before speaking
We often tend to say things we don’t mean when we are angry. Try to refrain from speaking in heated moments. Sit back and collect your thoughts before you communicate, giving the other person the time and space to do the same.
2. Express your concerns only after you’re calm
Once you’re calm, express your anger. It helps you think clearly and explain your points in a more objective manner without intimidating the other person. Express your concerns and needs with clarity, without trying to hurt others or control their opinions.
3. Take a timeout to engage with yourself
When things become too stressful to handle, take a break and spend a few moments of quiet time with yourself. It will calm you down and prepare you to get back at it with more patience.
You can also engage in physical activities as they reduce stress and help you vent out. Go for a brisk walk or run, or indulge in other enjoyable physical activities when your anger seems to be taking over. You can also listen to music, write in a journal, dance, or paint. Basically whatever makes you feel light and happy.
4. Find a solution rather than playing the blame game
Identify the possible solutions instead of cribbing about things that are not in your control. Your focus should be on resolving the issue and not aggravating it. Remember that anger won’t right the wrongs but will definitely make things worse.
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So, instead of blaming somebody else, stick to putting forth your perspective and your feelings. Be respectful and express yourself in a non-confrontational manner. This way even the other person will be encouraged to think practically and will want to listen to your concerns. Your agitation will only make them defensive about themselves.
5. Don’t hold a grudge
To err is human to forgive is divine. Your bitterness will only swallow you and you must not let that happen. Steer clear of negative emotions and triggers. Allow positive thoughts to occupy your headspace. Remember, to forgive someone who has angered you is to learn from the situation.
Lighten up the mood in the room to diffuse tension. Light humour is a great tool of anger management, use it to help you face what’s making you angry.
Please remember that it takes constant and conscious effort to keep your cool when your anger is raging, and it won’t just happen overnight. Give yourself time and don’t hesitate to seek help if your anger seems to get out of control.