A guide for mothers to celebrate themselves on Mother’s day, and otherwise

Being a mother doesn’t come with a manual, and honestly, it doesn’t get easy, even if you have been at it for years. Yes, it’s the most beautiful feeling, but we can’t deny that mothers are overworked, exhausted and slowly without even realising, this becomes a part of their being. After a point, they don’t know how to do nothing, and just be.

Though the period of lockdown has been good in a way — it helped families get more time with each other — but it has taken any kind of breathing space, away from mothers.

They are constantly attending to the needs of different members of their families. The burden of household work has significantly increased, some are managing work from home, raising children, taking care of the sick, and in all this, the absence of a house help has only made it more difficult. Mothers are working round the clock, doing double and triple shifts.

Though gender roles are changing fast but largely still the onus of running a home is on the women of the house. Moms wear so many hats and it’s not surprising that self-care sometimes just doesn’t happen for moms.

Make time for self-care

A Buddhist teacher talks about how you cannot keep pouring from an empty cup. It emphasises on the importance of nurturing and nourishing oneself, so we can share that energy with the people around us. With moms, it becomes difficult to take out time for themselves, without experiencing guilt, without your mind giving you a list of things that you still have to finish and how your needs can wait.

Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Taking care of yourself as a mother is not only beneficial for you, but for your spouse and children too. When you’re feeling relaxed and happy, you’re able to be more present, enjoy your time with family, and not feel cranky and irritable because of all the tasks at hand. It’s important for your children to see that you have your own hobbies and routine, as children learn by seeing people and things around them. If you feel uncomfortable doing it for yourself, do it for your children.

You don’t want them to think that it’s okay to abuse your body, to not exercise, to not take out time for yourself and to keep giving, giving and giving.

Here are some things moms can try to have a healthy balance

1. Say NO: If you’re feeling tired and can’t do a certain task, start saying NO.
2. Ask for help: Involve your husband and children in sharing the load at home. It not only reduces your burden, but makes you feel supported, and at the same time empowers your family to do things on their own.
3. Set aside some time for yourself: You can use this time to read, listen to music, sing, meditate or whatever it is that you enjoy doing.
4. Exercise: Staying healthy is very important; healthy moms have healthy self-esteem. Doing physical and breathing exercises, even if it’s for 30minutes a day can be a game-changer for your overall health, mood and energy levels.
5. Salt baths: Yes, I said baths. Not only does it flush out pent-up energies from our system, but leaves us feeling relaxed and revitalised.
6. Energy healing spa: This can be experienced in the comfort of your home. It balances the energy in one’s aura and chakras, thereby helping to release energies of stress, aches and pains. Just 30 minutes of this experience can take care of your day.
7. Spend some time with your partner: It’s easy to get entangled in one’s role as a mother, but it’s equally important to have space and time for your relationship with your partner. Yes, there is a lockdown but holding hands, hugging each other, remembering stories from the past, doing things together can be done anywhere.  Just the act of looking at each other is enough to fill one with a deep sense of bliss.

When your cup is filled with self-love and care, what you pour out to the ones around you makes you feel energised and fulfilled.