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Being a mother doesn’t come with a manual, and honestly, it doesn’t get easy, even if you have been at it for years. Yes, it’s the most beautiful feeling, but we can’t deny that mothers are overworked, exhausted and slowly without even realising, this becomes a part of their being. After a point, they don’t know how to do nothing, and just be.
Though the period of lockdown has been good in a way — it helped families get more time with each other — but it has taken any kind of breathing space, away from mothers.
They are constantly attending to the needs of different members of their families. The burden of household work has significantly increased, some are managing work from home, raising children, taking care of the sick, and in all this, the absence of a house help has only made it more difficult. Mothers are working round the clock, doing double and triple shifts.
Though gender roles are changing fast but largely still the onus of running a home is on the women of the house. Moms wear so many hats and it’s not surprising that self-care sometimes just doesn’t happen for moms.
A Buddhist teacher talks about how you cannot keep pouring from an empty cup. It emphasises on the importance of nurturing and nourishing oneself, so we can share that energy with the people around us. With moms, it becomes difficult to take out time for themselves, without experiencing guilt, without your mind giving you a list of things that you still have to finish and how your needs can wait.
Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Taking care of yourself as a mother is not only beneficial for you, but for your spouse and children too. When you’re feeling relaxed and happy, you’re able to be more present, enjoy your time with family, and not feel cranky and irritable because of all the tasks at hand. It’s important for your children to see that you have your own hobbies and routine, as children learn by seeing people and things around them. If you feel uncomfortable doing it for yourself, do it for your children.
You don’t want them to think that it’s okay to abuse your body, to not exercise, to not take out time for yourself and to keep giving, giving and giving.
When your cup is filled with self-love and care, what you pour out to the ones around you makes you feel energised and fulfilled.