Ladies, is over-thinking about unfulfilled expectations and the pursuit of happiness all the time making you feel exhausted, tired and miserable? Well, waiting for life to be problem-free can make you wait forever. The fact is that we all go through disappointment and difficulties throughout our lives. It is how we deal with them which decides whether we can be happy or not.
Events around us cannot make us miserable; it depends upon how we perceive them. Our basic sense of finding contentment in what we have, is the way out.
Dr Bindu Menon, Professor and Head, Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine, Amrita Hospital, tells HealthShots, “The misery of a person worsens when one truly believes in the black and white of a situation and doesn’t want to come to a middle ground.”
Ladies, life can sometimes be grey and it is okay to feel miserable. But exacerbating the reasons to feel miserable can cost a lot in life.
Dr Samir Parikh, Director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Fortis Healthcare, comments, “It comes down to how do we look at the satisfactions, how do we look at a situation when expectations don’t get fulfilled. Whether it is personal, financial, work-related or academic – it all boils down to how we handle the ups, downs and disappointments.”
Feeling dissatisfied in life can be the greatest trigger that can make you feel miserable the whole time. Dr. Parikh explains, “The ability to find that contentment is the key. Once we find that contentment, just deal with it. It is important to note that around every good moment, a few difficult moments will be there and for all of life’s ups, there will be a few downs. Hence, feeling a sense of contentment is a must to go through life.”
According to Dr Menon, “The quickest way to feel miserable is when one tries to please everyone all the time, takes all events happening around them personally and thinks that their assumptions are true.” You cannot really make people happy every time. What really matters is how you can please yourself in a situation and deal with your life’s problems, as people won’t add up to your happiness. Sometimes, they can be the greatest reason for misery, and so it’s time to stop being a people pleaser!
Some people tend to procrastinate tasks to achieve their goals or to have conversations they are afraid of. These attitudes lead to problematic outcomes and increase conflict within oneself and between one another, says Dr Menon. What people don’t realise is that procrastination can be a slow poison in your life and eat up happiness from your life in the long run.
Attitude is what actually matters for a healthy mind and a happy life. Dr Menon says, “Identifying and accepting the negative emotions and working towards changing our response to a situation can reduce their stress.” If you feel your attitude – whether negative or positive – isn’t working for you in a situation, try to adopt healthier ways to deal with it.
Happiness lies within us. Finding it through external factors in life is not only exhausting but puts you through misery as well. Happiness can be found in little moments, especially those with your family and friends. They can prevent you from putting yourself in miserable circumstances.
Ladies, your perspective and response to the situations in life can save you from a lot of misery in life!
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