Gossiping isn’t all that bad, in fact, it helps you bond and stay stress-free

Aao behen chugli karein! Hey you, don’t make that face because, to be honest, there is no one on this planet who hasn’t been bitched or gossiped about someone. Well, of course, we are social animals and we have our opinion about everything and everyone. Then, what’s there to shy away from being a gossip queen?

Yes, we do understand that people who bitch have a bad reputation, but do you know such people are blessed to have stable mental health and a great sense of bonding? We mean who doesn’t like some masala in their life? The only thumb rule that you need to keep in mind is – how much gossiping is too much? If that’s sorted, you too can manage your mental well-being just like others.   

Gossiping ain’t bad!

Has anyone ever turned up to you and said, “I hate people who bitch about others.” Or “Oh please! I’ve never bitched in my life. Like NEVER!” – Then darling, these are the people to watch out for, because they are LYING.

According to renowned psychiatrist Dr Rahul Khemani, up to 80% of our conversations involve talking about other people. In fact, he suggests that bitching is a great way to vent and feel light – both mentally and emotionally.

He has listed some benefits that you can reap out of gossiping 

1. Gossiping helps build great bonds

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“Sometimes gossip can be a form of connection. It can also release “feel-good” hormones like serotonin. As social creatures, our brains are actually wired towards gossip. In prehistoric times, gossip could help us understand who’s trustworthy and who might help us survive,” suggests Dr Khemani.

Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is also released in the body during your conversation. That’s why it helps in building trust and a better bond.

2. It generates empathy

It has been seen that people who bitch about others are more empathetic, because they learn from their own experiences. “Sharing experiences of hurt by another person with someone close can help lessen the difficult emotions, thereby reducing the burden of shame,” suggests Dr Khemani.

3. It helps in problem-solving

By discussing a tough situation a friend is in, you can figure out a way to offer guidance, or support your friend who’s in a bad situation. Additionally, sharing struggles within a social, or work setting, with someone close to you might offer a new perspective you need to accomplish the upcoming work week.

4. It keeps anxiety at bay

Keeping things inside of you, you are bound to feel anxious and stressed. It is said that when you’re stressed or anxious, venting out or communicating to someone helps you calm down. It is also described to be therapeutic, because you feel very lightheaded after discussing what you feel about someone.

“It makes you feel positive and calmer than ever before,” says Dr Khemani.

But if you are bitching all the time, it’s a red flag

Everything done in moderation has a positive impact, but when it goes beyond a certain limit, it has side effects too. And, so does gossiping!

Dr Khemani lists down two very prominent side-effects of gossiping: 

1. Too much gossiping can lead to a “group-like mentality”

A group can start making decisions or stating things, due to the pressure of the group, rather than honoring one’s true opinions or behaviors. This mentality can also cause a “them” vs. “us” dynamic, excluding those around you.

2. You can become overly critical

“When gossiping surrounds the judgment of those around you, judgment can begin to seep into other areas of your life. In fact, the more we scrutinize others, the more we begin to scrutinize ourselves as well,” says Dr Khemani.

Also, watch:

Can you put a rein on gossiping?

Self-reflection and change of behavior help you interact more constructively with others.

Ask yourself before you become the “gossip girl”:

• Would you want someone to say those things about you?
• How would you feel if you caught someone speaking to others about you that way?
• Do you know if your opinion is accurate?
• What is this doing for me right now?
• Why am I talking about this?
• How do I feel about having this conversation? Do I feel safe or less safe?

You will get the answer to whether that bitching session was fruitful or a sheer waste of time.

So, want to try a goss sesh?