You can overcome toxic shame with these 5 tips

Toxic shame is rooted in childhood, and is characterised by feelings of low self-worth and embarrassment. How can you overcome it? Find out right here!
Rubina Dilaik
Body shame can be dealt with if you want. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
Devina Kaur Published: 21 Nov 2021, 07:58 pm IST
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Toxic shame is a term that refers to the shame that someone experiences, as a consequence of being treated poorly by others or because of certain traumatic events. Many of us who are managing toxic shame have undergone traumatic events since childhood, but there are some who develop these issues much later in their lives.

In my case, I was always fat-shamed as a child, and this led to many issues like bulimia, insecurity and addiction. When we experience shame, it makes us believe that we are worthless. We enter a vicious cycle of self-loathing, so much so that it can prevent us from achieving our life goals.

toxic shame
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We may often feel incapable of moving forward. If left unchecked, toxic shame is likely to lead to even worse mental health problems over time. Therefore, it is essential to find out the best way to deal with it, so that we can get our lives back on track.

How does toxic shame affect us?

Toxic shame causes a chronic fear of shame and embarrassment, and these feelings can cause stress and anxiety. This is most often rooted in childhood, and is directly related to what you were told (but not always) by your primary caregiver. In adult life, it can often lead to mood disorders and other mental health issues.

An internalized message about your lack of value makes you believe that you are incompetent. Toxic shame can also cause fear. It’s only natural to worry when you feel you need to be so embarrassed.

What can we do to overcome toxic shame and feel brilliant from the inside?

Overcoming toxic shame can be challenging, but with mindfulness and selfawareness, it is possible. To get rid of toxic shame, we need to change our mindset, work aggressively to change our internal dialogue and past conditioning, so that we can gain our spiritual confidence.

1. Seek a professional’s help

The assistance of a qualified professional who specializes in trauma and shame can help you handle difficult thought processes and experiences brought on by toxic shame. When we release our pain with trusted professionals, we feel empowered from within to unlearn all the old programming, and it is this unlearning that helps us rediscover our inner sexy self.

2. Practice forgiveness

Reconciling with yourself and your past actions can help you heal and let go of the shame that accompanies it. Forgiveness can heal. Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend going through the same thing; that means with kindness and empathy.

Also Read: Make sure your self-talk is rooted in positivity with these 3 tips

toxic shame
Don’t feel ashamed to seek help. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
3. Foster self-compassion:

We often offer more forgiveness and understanding to others than to ourselves. Everyone has a dark side and different kinds of weaknesses; hence, people make mistakes. The same goes for you. This understanding will help us reduce feelings of isolation, loneliness and toxic shame. Remember, no part of you is your own enemy.

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4. Say yes to a support group

Let go of people who do not help you strengthen positive thoughts and feelings about yourself. Find a support group that makes you feel sexy and brilliant, and encourages you to know yourself, so you can find your inner light and connection with your spiritual self, and put toxic shame away.

5. Self-acceptance

When we make room to accept others without judgment, we also make room to accept ourselves and evade toxic shame. Start with self-knowledge and move on to practice radical self-acceptance. Be aware of your bright side, but also be willing to know and accept your weaknesses. This will allow you to think highly of yourself and make you self-assured!

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About the Author

Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious". ...Read More

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