Draw the line between love and emotional dependence with these 7 tips

Published on: 30 January 2022, 17:30 pm IST

Emotional dependency is not important in relationships. Stop relying on your partner for happiness, and follow these tips!

Devina Kaur
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emotional dependency
It's not worth it! Image courtesy: Shutterstock
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Are you in a relationship?  Relationships are crucial for numerous reasons: they improve our emotional well-being, help us sail through tough times, and bind us together when we face challenging situations. The right relationships have the potential to empower us. But what to do when we become emotionally dependent on our partner?

What happens when you are too emotionally dependent on your partner?

If your answers to the following questions are ‘yes’, it clearly reflects you are emotionally dependent.

* Have you entrusted your happiness and worth to your partner?
* Do you believe that you won’t be able to live without her/him?
* Do you constantly seek approval and crave attention?

Emotional dependency is a psychological condition in which an individual needs another person to stay happy, and is unable to take full responsibility for their feelings. One might experience grief, worry, anxiety, depression, and despair and feel powerless to nurture these emotions themselves.

Emotional support is beneficial but it should not turn into emotional dependency. We need to know how to tackle it to become mentally stronger.

emotional dependency
Who doesn’t need some pillars of emotional support? Image courtesy: Shutterstock

7 tips to help you overcome emotional dependency

1. Self-knowledge and developing new hobbies

Determining our likes, dislikes and interests is a path to finding genuine happiness and inner peace. Research shows that hobbies help in reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. Spending time on our favourite solo activity makes us feel relaxed, independent and improves mental well-being. For example, writing, cooking, dancing, sketching, learning to play a musical instrument, sports, etc.

2. Self-acceptance by practicing motivational self-talk

We all possess exceptional qualities, which we should be proud of! I often remind myself of the strengths that helped me achieve challenging career and professional goals in my life. Appreciating our good qualities, special skills, and abilities builds self-esteem. Expressing gratitude for wonderful things in our life fosters a positive attitude. I have posted positive affirmations on my phone’s wallpaper like “Always sexy, Always brilliant.”

3. Unlearn the negative experiences to express yourself authentically

Determine the root cause of emotional dependence to break the loop of self-destructive repeating patterns. Self-introspection and self-awareness help us in identifying those specific triggers. Maybe we feel insecure, possessive, anxious, have low self-esteem, or we may have faced unpleasant experiences in our previous relationships.

Emotional dependency
Feel less insecure and more confident with the help of these tips. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Don’t you think it is crucial to build self-confidence and self-worth to overcome such insecurities? Various techniques to stay emotionally fit, such as consulting a psychologist, meditating, letting go of the past, positive self-talk, etc. will help us.

4. Release the fear of judgment and abandon a toxic relationship

Figure out whether you feel empty and unsatisfied in a relationship? I know it is very challenging to leave a toxic relationship, due to shame of judgment and fear of the unknown. But is your mental health deteriorating and do you need some alone time? I believe it is beneficial to end the relationship and make health a priority.

You may have a different perspective. You and your partner can mutually agree to sort out the difficulties and mend a broken relationship. But it necessitates patience and a great deal of effort.

5. Self-care

Identify your emotional demands for which you depend on others. Don’t you think it is unrealistic asking the other person to satisfy our emotional needs every time? What if they do not meet them? We will feel frustrated and disappointed. We can discover ways of fulfilling our emotional needs without relying on others.

6. Different relationships for different experiences

We frequently judge our partners in many areas and expect our relationship to be flawless. Isn’t it unfair? It burdens one relationship with unrealistic demands. We should appreciate all kinds of love (like parental love, friends, etc.), rather than seeking it in your partner.

emotional dependency
Seek different relationships for different experiences. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

A person can have many different relationships for different experiences and a romantic relationship is one of them. Why should only that relationship bear the burden to give us all happiness? For example, a special sports relationship for those who share a similar interest in tennis (for example), but not anything else. Or a special ‘lets-get-coffee-together’ relationship.

7. Seek respect, not attention

Many of us crave attention and always fight for our priority in our partners’ lives. Grabbing someone’s attention will give temporary happiness, but respect has a longer lifespan. Once we gain respect and are no longer a people pleaser, we become emotionally stronger.

Not getting too attached to people is essential to maintain a healthy balance between ourselves and our relationships. Not seeking external validation builds self-worth.

The last word

Overcoming emotional dependency can be challenging. But if you successfully implement these tips, it can be very rewarding. Self-knowledge and self-acceptance enhances our confidence and inner wealth.

You are beautiful! You are sexy! You are brilliant! You deserve mental peace and lots of happiness.

Devina Kaur Devina Kaur

Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious".

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