Think you have commitment phobia? 3 ways to overcome it

Commitment phobia can stop you from being in a healthy long-term relationship and experience emotional stability. Here’s how to get over it.
commitment phobia
Grace Bains Published: 27 Oct 2021, 13:17 pm IST
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Caption: Face your commitment phobia headon! Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Beyond the early ‘honeymoon’ phase, a relationship requires consistent work in order to keep going. This means that both the partners need to make an active effort towards ensuring the relationships develop in a healthy way. This can happen only if both the partners are fully devoted to their bond, and don’t face commitment phobia.

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Commitment phobia can negatively impact your relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
What is commitment phobia?

A lack of commitment can negatively impact the relationship and in some cases, even lead to the end of the relationship. Commitment phobia can be described as a self-destructive trait that makes it difficult for a person to be in a healthy long-term relationship.

We spoke to renowned clinical psychologist Dr Bhavna Barmi about self-destructive habits and she said, “These are habits or behaviours that often lead to relief in the short term, but ultimately get in the way of a healthy lifestyle. These habits tend to have tangible negative effects on life and its outcomes as well.”

insecure in a relationship
Don’t let commitment phobia sabotage your relationship. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
How to get over commitment phobia?

So, it is important to overcome commitment phobia. Here are 3 ways to do this:

1. Ask yourself ‘why’

You’ve already figured out that you are fearful of commitment and need to get over it in order to build a healthy romantic relationship. To truly get over it, you need to figure out the root cause of your commitment phobia.

Laura Bilotta, relationship expert and author of the book Single in the City: From Hookups & Heartbreaks to Love & Lifemates: Tales & Tips to Attract Your Perfect Match, is of the opinion that commitment phobias can develop as a result of a variety of situations, including early childhood traumas and recent relationship histories, and they can prevent you from having happy and healthy relationships in the future. So, try to analyse where you fear might be stemming from and it will help you overcome it.

2. Communicate your commitment issues with your partner

At times, our actions are a result of our commitment issues but to our partner, they might seem hurtful. You may not intend for it to be that way but being with someone who isn’t ready to commit fully to the relationship can negatively impact a person’s emotional health. Hence, make sure you’re keeping your partner in the loop of how you truly feel. This will also help them adjust their expectations of you and aid the development of a healthy relationship based on strong communication.

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3. Don’t shy away from therapy

Not dealing with your phobia of commitment can stop you from experiencing long-term companionship and emotional stability. If you’ve been trying to work on it but are not making a headway, there is no harm in seeking therapy. You can look at both couples therapy as well as individual sessions.

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About the Author

Grace is someone who likes writing enough to make a living out of it. When she isn’t writing, you will find her having chai and reading a book. ...Read More

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