Are you TOO nice? Here are 5 signs that will help you identify

We live in a world that’s competitive and sometimes, a little too harsh. While there are all kinds of people, you may sometimes come across a few who always support and help others, and get along with their friends and family, or whoever they meet. So, can they be categorized as too nice? For one, no one can be put in a box, because how people define the word NICE differs.

“Each person has a different definition depending upon their thought process, experiences, and personalities. To determine if one is too nice, too polite, or too kind, a look at our own behaviours, actions, and thoughts would provide an idea,” shares Devisha Batra, Senior Counselling Psychologist, IWill, with HealthShots.

Signs to know if you are being too nice

* Identify how often do you put people’s needs and wants before yours
* Reflect upon how many times you say a yes to other’s requests
* Being agreeable even when you hold different views
* Apologizing to people even when it is not your mistake
* Avoiding any conflict or confrontation

There are several other similar behaviours which one may follow, and which may act as a warning or a caution for some people.

“We all truly appreciate and value encouraging people around us. We all invest differently with different people. Some people are well aware when to take a step back and protect their own self and emotions, while for others, it is difficult to know when he/she has crossed the ‘too nice’ territory. This may be detrimental for some people and harm their peace. It may increase frustration for people, while it may be relaxing for others,” adds Batra.

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Does being too nice help?

Being too nice may make one likable and easy to get along with. This can provide a sense of happiness and relaxation. It can make people accommodate easily for things without affecting them. The nice ones know that the extra effort is worth it. They know they will be able to get their short-term results without sacrificing critical relationships, providing them added advantage of adaptability even in conflicts.

“In this fast-paced world, adapting easily to a few situations can reduce tension and worry. Those who are too nice can let little things go away, and be there for people, which in turn, increases loyalty for relationships,” adds Batra.

But there are side effects to being too nice

In certain cases, being too nice can also mean flouting your boundaries. Catering to others’ needs every time and sidelining one’s own needs can lead to resentment. This resentment often comes with a certain set of expectations that we may have from others in return. This can also lead to self-criticism.

“While focusing on others, we tend to sideline our own self and our work, giving much importance to others. This leads to a feeling of being low and sad. This may make one more focused to meet another person’s needs, reducing one’s own happiness and neglecting one’s own interests. This may easily lead to burnout,” explains Batra.

By stifling your true feelings over and over again, you may feel frustrated and snap at people, when you reach your saturation point.

“One may feel their preferences being over-ridden, which can lead to self-neglect.
While being nice has its own advantages and disadvantages, in order to maintain a balance, it is imperative to focus on one’s boundaries and oneself. It is vital to reset and consider what one values about being nice. Working on being assertive, and finding alternative ways to define one’s identity is critical,” she says.

With proper understanding about being kind and nice, one can benefit from improved cooperation, better team spirit, and more control over emotions.