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8 obvious signs that it’s time to break up according to a psychologist

Published on:10 November 2020, 16:42pm IST
Pay heed to this relationship advice from the experts and look out for these signs that indicate it’s time to break up for your own growth.
Shreya Gupta
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A clinical psychologist lists signs that no one should ignore. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
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A relationship is supposed to be that safe space where you can be yourself. The relationship you share with your partner is supposed to be based on trust, love and support. At times, however, the relationship can become toxic and start affecting your mental health.

There are certain red flags that we end up ignoring, even though relationship advice coming your way says otherwise. We look at relationships through the rose-tinted glasses of love but you need to remind yourself that your mental health should be the top priority.

Dr Bhavna Barmi, a renowned Delhi-based clinical psychologist, lists eight signs that point to the fact that you’re not in a healthy relationship and need to end the relationship right away:

1. You are living in the past

Dr Barmi says, “If you are replaying the good memories in your mind and finding reasons to stick around based on the past, it’s probably time to move on.” When you start reminiscing about the past instead of focusing on the present, it means something is off. It’s better for you to move on before the relationship stops you from growing.

2. You are a changed person

If someone wants you to change or changes you in a way that you’re not comfortable with, the person definitely doesn’t deserve you. Dr Barmi says, “If you don’t like how you have changed because of the relationship, you might need to put yourself first.”

break-up
Maybe it’s time to reflect where it went wrong. Image Courtesy: Shutterstock

Also, read: Coronavirus causing turmoil in your relationship? A psychologist has some advice

3. You are the only one making the effort

No relationship can work when only one of the two people is making the effort to make it work. It’s almost like being in one-sided love. It can be extremely taxing for the one person managing everything. If you’re in such a situation, you can have a talk with your partner about how you feel or just choose to move on.

4. Your energy gets drained

Dr Barmi says, “If you start noticing that the relationship is consuming a lot of energy, leaving you with no mental bandwidth to focus on other things, it’s the time to end that relationship.”

5. You are compromising too much

“Relationships work on little compromises but if the compromises you’re making are impacting you negatively and making you feel like you deserve better, it’s a sign that you are unhappy with your relationship,” says Dr Barmi.

6. You are always arguing

If you both are unable to talk to each other without fighting due to different opinions and choices, it could mean that your relationship is becoming toxic and you should let go.

toxic relationship
Toxic relationships are bad for your mental health. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
7. You feel insecure

You’re supposed to feel absolutely comfortable being yourself in a relationship. If your partner makes you feel insecure and conscious about yourself, it’s best to not stay with them anymore.

Also, read: 7 tell-tale signs of an emotionally-abusive relationship you must watch out for

8. You don’t feel like spending time with your partner

Dr Barmi says, “When you don’t feel like spending time together, it’s a clear indication that you both no longer enjoy each other’s company.” There’s no point in stretching such a relationship.

So, ladies, don’t ignore these signs and let go when you need to!

Shreya Gupta Shreya Gupta

Finding nirvana in good food, Shreya also loves reading books and is a die-hard Potterhead. Confident and motivated she's fun to be with. Plus food. Always.