Relationships are a way to have a sense of connection that makes our lives better. But not all relationships bring a positive change – sometimes they exhaust you, and drain you out of energy. When you let them linger too long, they even damage your being. If your relationship is wearing you down instead of giving you a sense of belonging and filling your heart with love, you might need to rethink the relationship. Whether you want to believe it or not, you always can sense the tension and get a feeling that it isn’t working out anymore. However, if you still need someone to spell it out for you and help figure things out, here are some red flags in your relationship you can’t ignore.
Before recognising the ticking bomb in your relationship, you need to know that staying in a toxic relationship sometimes stems from your need to feel validated. While it’s not your fault, it is something that can affect every aspect of your life including your relationship. Sometimes, “when people feel that they aren’t good enough and place someone else on a pedestal owing to their credentials or the potential to have a dream life, they tend to ignore all the red flags in a relationship,” says Matchmaker and Relationship Coach Radhika Mohta.
Your values are a reflection of who you are as a person. Sharing the same values is the core foundation of compatibility in a relationship. So, when your values don’t match, your relationship suffers. When your mindset and your views are different, it becomes challenging to have a productive conversation with your partner, and without proper communication, a relationship can’t thrive.
“How you spend your time and money together will affect your lifestyle. Morning people do not turn into night owls. A morning person would love to go on dawn dates, watch the sunrise, have breakfast, and soak in the fresh air over their fitness routine! If that’s not your vibe, you need to address it now,” says the expert. In short, if you feel your differences are unmanageable and lead to more arguments than agreements, it is a red flag that is going to blow up in your face if you keep ignoring it.
Everyone has expectations, and each partner brings his or her own experience and values to a relationship. The expectations may differ based on your individual experiences, and you need to understand this. However, beware – unrealistic expectations can ruin your relationship. If deep down you know your relationship is not working out because your expectations from life are different from your partner’s, don’t ignore this! If you or your partner have unrealistic expectations from each other, you need to either come to terms with it or act on it now to avoid conflicts.
Does your partner avoid having a conversation about an important topic? Do they shut you down when you address a conflict? Mohta explains, “Communicating your needs and wants clearly is important in a relationship. In case your partner avoids having a conversation about important things or projects their fear of abandonment on you, you need to address it.”
If communicating doesn’t help, you can try couples therapy. However, if your partner is unwilling to address the problems at all, it is a red flag and you need to run as fast as possible.
“Over-the-top display of attention and affection to bring you to a point where you wear rose-tinted glasses and ignore their issues, that’s love bombing and it is toxic,” adds Mohta. While it is easy to get manipulated by someone who promises you the world, it is important to keep your eyes open to such red flags. A love bomber will always want you to think of them at all times, and it can be difficult to separate right from wrong. If something continuously feels off, you need to examine the situation and get out of the toxic relationship.
Yes, relationships are special. They can have a huge impact on your personality and the way you look at things but you can’t let them consume you. You have to remember that you cannot lose yourself in a relationship. As rightfully put by the expert, “You are the cake, anyone else can only be the icing.”
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