#PrideAndProud: Support us and let love be, says Kanika Bagai

This is how 30-year-old Kanika Bagai came out of the closet to reveal her real and raw self. Kudos and more power to you, girl!
section 377
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Kanika Bagai Updated: 21 Feb 2020, 11:18 am IST
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I am Kanika Bagai, 30 years, but not old! I am a happy-go-lucky person who believes in “aao toh welcome and jao toh bheed kam”. Oh, and yes, I am a proud lesbian.

Being at work means that you don’t have time for yourself or your family but whatever time I get I try to spend it with my family, my friends and my special someone.

I have had a few relationships that never worked out, just like most people, but the person I met in 2015 became extremely important to me.

I heard about her many times from mutual friends but when I first saw her I could hear background music “main thehra raha zameen chalne lagi”. I felt the whole world shake but it wasn’t an earthquake—it was my dreams being realised. So it’s been four years since me and Aishwarya are together. And we are so happy with each other.

Initially she didn’t feel the same way though, so we remained friends for the first two years. I also had reservations after my previous breakups so we took it slow. We were great at being friends too but soon realised we wanted more.

Telling our parents wasn’t that easy
My parents have a political background, which made it even harder for me to come out to them. After countless hours of encouragement from my friends and Aishwarya, I spoke to my parents and they were completely against our relationship.

Also, read: #PrideAndProud: I came out of the closet because I couldn’t live a lie anymore

They wanted me to get married and to a guy. I told my parents that I have no interest in guys. They didn’t understand that—they literally could not understand what I meant. They thought I didn’t want to get married or I wanted to remain single. So I had to break it down for them—explain what being a lesbian meant.

They were not happy. We argued and argued. They said all the things that most Indian parents say—”log kya kahenge“, “tere bhai ki shadi kaise hogi” and all.

section 377

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But God has been kind. Since Section 377 got decriminalised, I tried to make my parents and her parents understand our situation.

But they still think we are going through a “phase” or we have some hormonal issues and it’s messing with our thinking. But it isn’t as bad.

It’s difficult to be okay with that but I have a major supportive family of three friends and I love them a lot. I love you guys—Nikka, Deepu, Cheetu and Rahul for always being there.

With each and every passing day I wake up with something in my mind and that is I don’t want to lose her at any cost. I know it’s going to be so hard for both of us but we need to gather that courage because we love each other. I want us to live together in our little home. We would love if everyone understands that we are not crazy, we just love each other so much and want to be together.

We want our parents to be there for us and support us.

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About the Author

Kanika is a working women and a proud queer who is using this medium to tell her coming out story . ...Read More

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