Those of us who have got married or will be tying the knot soon surely know the feelings of nervousness before the D-day. While these pre-wedding jitters might be a mix of both excitement and anxiety, they are far more intense than the usually butterflies in our stomach that we feel before we start something new. A wedding represents the start of a new life, and it warrants some nervousness. However, how much of this is normal, is a question that we often ask ourselves. So, before you let your pre-wedding jitters get the better of you, find out why these happen, and how to get rid of them.
“Is he the one for me?’, ‘Am I make the right decision?’, ‘Why Am I feeling this way?” – these are common questions that a bride may asks before the wedding day. In the midst of stressful preparations, pre-wedding jitters or second thoughts are natural, Dr Anu Goel, counselling psychologist, hypnotherapist and past life regression therapist, tells Health Shots.
“It is absolutely normal to get wedding jitters. It’s anxiety playing up on you. For a girl, she is changing her, house, place… It’s a total change of life for her and so it’s absolutely normal to get these jitters. For a boy, he is getting an almost stranger in his house, who needs to adjust with his family. Even if he is living alone to adjust with a new person is never easy,” says Dr Goel.
According to a study conducted by UCLA, published in Journal of Family Psychology, 38 percent women and 47 percent men, the group that they chose, admitted to being uncertain and hesitant about getting married. So that’s how ‘normal’ it is!
While pre-wedding jitters or second thoughts are common, someone people even experience the feeling of wanting to leave everything and run away. Dr Goel says that she has many patients who have gone through this feeling. The pressure of marital life can take a toll on everyone. “Everyone gets nervous. Some people laugh and show it, some people cry, it depends from personality to personality, but everyone gets nervous. There are people who get cold feet and want to run away from the marriage too. When someone gets cold feet, it doesn’t mean they don’t love the person they are going to marry. It just means that they are too scared of taking the first step. They don’t know if they will be successful or if they will fail. Especially for girls, they are leaving their house, and moving to a totally different environment. Yet most of us try our best to cope up and be strong,” she explains.
How to get rid of pre-wedding jitters?
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While feeling nervous is common, none of us want to turn into bridezillas on our wedding day and are looking for ways to bid adieu to our stress and worries. Dr Goel gives us some practical ways to deal with pre-wedding jitters.
It’s a good idea to go for premarital counselling, to take help before being married so that you know what you are getting into, and what to expect. This will help you not get more scared. Once you know what you are getting into, you know how to work on the marriage.
Ignorance is not the way forward over here, and ignoring your feelings may only make the situation worse. The way to get over them is by accepting what you are feeling. Once you accept what you are feeling, you can deal with it.
If everything is planned well, and you know the pros and cons of the set up you are getting into, it’s easier to accept it.
Talking to friends, family and expressing your emotions will surely help. Talking to your loved ones, telling them what you are feeling and exchanging notes is a sure-shot way of knowing how things are. Everyone has gone through the same feelings and can relate to it.
Instead of trying to organise the wedding, stay a bit away. Leave the organisation part to someone else. Try to chill and relax. Go for a spa treatment, indulge in breathing exercises and exercise in general. Try to enjoy the wedding.
Don’t get into politics of the wedding. The more you get involved, the more jitters you will get. Try and stay away from the negativity, all weddings have some negativity or the other. Be in a bubble where you are happy.
Look into the positive things that you are feeling. Express emotions positively. Yoga also helps where you breathe in positivity and breathe put negativity. Try to be calm.