Mind games in relationships: Know how to deal with insecure men

Insecure men can often play mind games i relationships. Read on to know how women can deal with it in a practical way.
2. Active listening can save your relationship Always look at problems as a whole, arguments should never be about pointing fingers at each other but more about resolving the issue at hand. Being in an argument with your partner can give you a chance to express your disappointment, what you feel, and what hurts you as well as when you really pay attention and listen to what your partner is saying you will be better able to empathize with what they are going through. Clearing up misunderstandings as soon as they happen and letting go of resentments will make your relationship stronger.
Avoid letting people play mindgames in relationships. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock
Natalia Ningthoujam Published: 26 Jan 2023, 15:00 pm IST
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Some men play mind games to try to mask their insecurity. They like to be in control and use manipulative tactics in a relationship. Even for something as small as an outing, he can blame you if things don’t turn out the way he wants them to be. He will convince you that it’s all your fault, even if it’s not. In the end, you may go to sleep with tears in your eyes. It’s not always easy to spot the mind games that insecure men play on women. But you should be aware of the mind games in a relationship and how to deal with them.

HealthShots got in touch with psychologist Dr Malini Saba to know more about mind games in a relationship and some valuable relationship tips to navigate such issues.

She says insecure men seek emotional strength by abusing the women in their lives because they are frustrated and lack self-confidence (tips to overcome insecurity). When men exert control over the women in their lives, it provides them with purpose and a sense of control, making them feel important.

mind games in a relationship
Insecure men often play mind games. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock

Mind games that an insecure man plays on a woman

1. “You are to be blamed”

Blame is a powerful weapon in the hands of men who engage in mind games. Blaming other people for unpleasant events is often painful, especially if you are unaware of your own mistakes. Blaming women is frequently a projection technique used in insecure guys’ mind games. They are aware of their mistake, but cannot accept it. The next phase is for them to vent their anger toward the woman.

What to do when you are blamed?

Consult a close friend or relative after analysing the scenario to find out the source of the issue. They will provide you with a clear and objective perspective that will assist you in figuring out your next move, says Dr Saba. If you see no light, it’s pointless to continue in a toxic relationship.

Also read: Are you in a toxic relationship? Here are 5 tell-tale signs to look out for

2. He shames you

Insecure men frequently use guilt and shame as mental strategies towards women. A man who indulges in mind games takes pleasure in making his partner feel terrible for a mistake he has made and humiliating her at every opportunity. For instance, he arrives late to work and makes her feel guilty for letting him sleep longer and not waking him up. He plans to embarrass her by bringing up her past mistakes and background. This occurs frequently when she is superior to him in a certain talent or activity.

What should you do if your partner shames you?

Identify your feelings, express them to him calmly and acknowledge that the situation is not about you. This does not make it a success, but it will save you from feeling guilty and ashamed for something you did not do. Don’t let negative thoughts affect you, and assure him that his remarks have no effect on you.

3. He takes your possessions

A man who engages in mind games, can occasionally be a gold digger. Consequently, he takes something from you while promising to do more. For example, he frequently borrows money but never repays it. When asked, he says that you are either proud of him or embarrassed by him and that you are driven by money.

mind games in a relationship
An insecure man will blame and shame his partner. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

What should you do when he fails to return what he borrowed?

Just inform him that you would appreciate a refund or return. If he does not change, you should stop lending him money and giving any of your belongings.

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4. He seems to behave perfectly

Who wouldn’t want a man who behaves perfectly? But when it comes to an insecure partner, his mental tricks involve posing as the ideal partner, says Dr Saba. Some women believe that the ideal man will carry them off their feet. A man who engages in mind games is aware of this and uses it against his partner. So, some women may be slow to recognise such mind tricks in relationships.

What should you do when your partner’s conduct seems flawless?

It is best to encourage him to be relaxed and open with you.

5. He deliberately criticises your appearance

An insecure man might also assault your physical attractiveness. If you want to determine if your partner is playing mind games with you, observe how he incorporates your appearance into every conversation. To make you feel worse, he might even compare you to models and actresses. The reality is that he feels frightened by your attractiveness. But make it clear – body shaming is not welcome!

What should you do when your physical attractiveness is attacked?

Be assured, and tell him calmly how his remarks make you feel. Then, express your appreciation for your entire physique and personality. Self-love doesn’t hurt anyone, does it?

6. He always tries to win in a conflict

Instead of focusing on the essential points of the argument, an insecure man prioritises winning the conflict. He might even use nasty language to make you feel inferior and end the argument.

How to respond when he always tries to win an argument?

Take a break so you can both settle down. Remain confident and base your queries on his responses. This causes him to seek answers since he is not concentrating on the issues at hand.

Remember dear ladies, a happy relationship is about two equals who respect each other. There’s no place for mind games here!

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About the Author

Natalia Ningthoujam has written on various subjects - from music to films and fashion to lifestyle - as a journalist in her career that started in 2010. After getting stories from the crime scene, police headquarters, and conducting interviews with celebrities, she is now writing on health and wellness which has become her focus area. ...Read More

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