Should you marry your best friend?

Love, trust, mutual respect and effective communication are the foundations of a happy marriage. If you are marrying someone you don’t know that well, it will take some time to work on them. But what if you choose to marry the person who knows your strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, likes and dislikes? Marrying your best friend comes with a lot of advantages and drawbacks too.

What are the signs you should marry your best friend?

Here are some signs that marrying your closest friend may be a good decision:

1. Changing dynamics

You notice a shift in your perception and feelings about your best friend. The platonic affection progresses to romantic feelings and a yearning for a deeper connection, says psychotherapist and life coach Dr Chandni Tugnait.

2. Protective instincts

You feel protective, almost possessive, towards your best friend. The idea of them being with someone else makes you uneasy.

3. Physical attraction

While an emotional connection has always existed, you have recently become physically attracted to your best friend in ways you were not previously aware of.

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4. Increased intimacy

Your conversations and interactions become more intimate and personal. You may be touching on issues and discussing vulnerabilities that extend beyond regular friendship.

5. Seeking approval

You become more concerned with what your best friend thinks of you, how you dress or how you look. You seek their approval in ways that go beyond friendship.

6. Flirtatious banter

Your talks become flirty and more suggestive, says the expert. There may be inside jokes and banter that may be considered romantic.

7. Gut feeling

You may have a strong gut feeling that this person is meant to be more than simply a friend. It is a sensation that is difficult to dismiss or justify.

What are the mental health benefits of marrying your best friend?

According to a 2017 research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies, those who are best friends with their life partners have the most well-being benefits from marriage. Here are potential mental health benefits of marrying your best friend:

1. Emotional security

A strong connection and understanding with your spouse can create a sense of emotional security and stability. These are essential for mental health.

2. Improved communication

Best friends tend to have a pattern of open and honest communication. This can lead to improved understanding and problem resolution in marriage, says the expert.

3. Acceptance and validation

Best friends tend to accept one another’s eccentricities and weaknesses. This creates a sense of validation and self-acceptance that can increase self-esteem and confidence.

4. Shared experiences

Couples who were best friends prior to marriage frequently have a wealth of shared experiences and memories. This can enhance their emotional connection and provide a strong foundation for their partnership.

5. Trust and loyalty

Best friends often have a strong feeling of trust and loyalty for one another. This can lead to a more stable and devoted marriage.

6. Stress relief

You may be having a hard time at work or home. But having a spouse who truly understands you and knows how to provide comfort and support may be a powerful stress reducer, improving overall mental health.

7. Companionship

Best friends frequently enjoy one another’s company and share common interests. This can help reduce feelings of loneliness or isolation in marriage.

8. Laughter and joy

A best friend not only knows your sad stories, but you also have a history of shared laughter and joy. This can bring lightness and positivity to a marriage, alleviating depression, or anxiety, says Dr Tugnait.

9. Emotional intimacy

The emotional intimacy developed through a long friendship can lead to a stronger emotional connection in a romantic relationship. This can result in higher overall satisfaction.

10. Empathy and understanding

Best friends often have a better understanding and empathy for each other’s problems. Due to this, you can have more sympathetic and supportive interactions with your partner during difficult times.

What are the disadvantages of marrying your best friend?

While marrying your best friend has many advantages, there may be a few drawbacks as well.

• If the romantic relationship fails, you may lose a valuable friendship.
• The deep familiarity and comfort you experience as best friends may lead to complacency or a lack of effort in maintaining passion in your marriage.
• After years of being best friends, you may have unreasonable expectations of your partner, believing that they will always understand you perfectly or meet all your needs, which can lead to disappointment.
• Moving from a friendship to a romantic partnership can make it difficult to set and maintain appropriate emotional and physical boundaries.
• Because you already know each other so well, there may be a lack of mystery or excitement associated with meeting a new romantic partner.

Even though there are potential disadvantages, they should not deter you from marrying your best friend. You should be aware of them and have open discussions about how to deal with them if they emerge.