Insecure in your relationship? 5 signs of anxious attachment

Anxious attachment not only lowers your self-esteem and self-confidence, it also hampers the growth of your relationship. Here’s how to deal with it.
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Know the symptoms of anxious attachment. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock
Team Health Shots Published: 8 Feb 2024, 13:15 pm IST
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Problems in a relationship are common, and people deal with them in different ways. Sometimes, when you are too attached to your partner, you knowingly or unknowingly ignore all their shortcomings and stay with them. This behaviour is called anxious attachment. It manifests in a relationship as a constant need for reassurance, a fear of abandonment, and a tendency to cling to your partner. People with anxious attachment may interpret minor setbacks in their relationship as signs of separation, which can lead to anxiety. Not just with your partner, but anxious attachment can be seen in any relationship, such as with your parents, siblings, friends, etc.

Health Shots got in touch with Psychiatrist Dr Gaurav Gupta. According to him, people with anxious attachment may seek validation and attention from their partners, yet struggle with feelings of unworthiness.

What are the signs of anxious attachment?

A person with an anxious attachment is afraid of loneliness and becomes too emotionally dependent on his partner. This can lower their self-esteem, making them feel insecure in a relationship. Here are the signs you should never ignore:

1. Emotional roller coaster

People experiencing anxious attachment may have major mood swings. Positive moments can swiftly turn into disappointment without a valid cause. These frequent mood swings can significantly impact mental well-being and relationships.

mood swings
Mood swings are a common symptom of anxious attachment. Image courtesy: Adobe Stock

2. Self-scrutiny and adaptation

People with anxious attachment may hold themselves responsible for all of the shortcomings in their relationship. As a result, they begin to act differently to make sure their partner is comfortable. The compromise and the need to feel validated may impact their mental health.

3. Fear of abandonment

People with anxious attachment tend to exhibit possessiveness and jealousy. As a result, trust issues may arise, accompanied by apprehension that their partner might find someone better. These anxieties profoundly impact both mental health and interpersonal relationships.

Also read: Insecurity can kill your relationship! 8 ways to overcome it

4. Restlessness and dependency

One may lose sight of their real personality, prioritising constant communication and companionship with their partner. They may experience restlessness if they are unable to engage with their partner.

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5. Unfulfilled satisfaction

People may struggle to find contentment, becoming overly reliant on their partner for happiness. Even gestures of care from their partner may fail to satisfy them.

Side effects of anxious attachment in a relationship

It can seriously harm relationships, reducing their chances of success. If one partner is overly anxious, it affects both partners and can hinder personal growth. For example, if a partner works long hours, the anxious one might constantly seek attention, causing frustration and impacting mental health and work.

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Being insecure is a sign of an anxious attachment! Image courtesy: Adobe Stock

Moreover, expressing desires in such a situation may become challenging. The anxious partner may become negative, ignoring efforts and hoping their thoughts are understood without communicating them properly. However, healthy relationships require open communication.

Ignoring the red flags of the relationship is common too. The anxious partner may adapt to avoid conflict, losing their identity. In healthy relationships, addressing concerns openly fosters growth and understanding.

How to deal with anxious attachment?

Dealing with anxious attachment requires understanding and taking appropriate steps to avoid mental conflict.

1. Prioritise distancing yourself from this attachment style, recognising that its impacts can be detrimental to your mental health.
2. Focus on activities that make you happy and bring you joy. Engage in hobbies, spend time with supportive friends, or explore new experiences to nurture your sense of fulfillment.
3. When partners are unable to provide the attention and support you need, avoid fixating on worries and instead spend your time doing something productive. If fear is driving your connection, it’s crucial to address this issue promptly.
4. Take proactive steps to enhance your well-being by prioritising self-care.
5. Maintain a balanced diet, stay hydrated, and prioritise activities that promote mental clarity and resilience.
6. Prioritise cultivating self-love and recognising your self-worth. By valuing yourself, you can overcome anxious attachment.

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