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Ever since we were kids, we’ve been encouraged to make friends. There have been so many articles written on how important friendships are. Some say that it helps you shape your personality, others say it gives you a chance to meet new people. We aren’t saying all of this is not true, but what if you don’t have friends? Is it necessarily a bad thing?
The answer is no. Everything has its pros and cons, and in the same way, not having friends is not as bad as it is made out to be. Having friends is good, but only if you have a healthy dynamic with them.
So without further ado, let’s try and understand the benefits of solitude.
Sounds odd, doesn’t it? Well, there’s research from 2017 that shows that those who spend time by themselves have higher levels of creativity. Not being social is not a bad thing, as people portray it to be. In fact, all the time you spend alone can fire up your imagination, and help your creative juices to flow. If you spend time with others, it isn’t bad, but you might get easily distracted. This is especially in case of activities like painting, reading or similar things.
This happens to all of us – for instance, if we spend time with other people, you might not even realise it but your words, actions or mood might change to reflect the behaviour of those around you. If your friend is loud and outgoing, you might see yourself pick up those vibes. Mirroring is not a bad thing, but it takes you away from focusing on your perspective. Sometimes, you adjust your behaviour to fit in.
You might want to make friends, but forcing any friendship doesn’t serve anyone. You might end up going for more social outings, but they do not offer anything more than that. Instead, you feel more exhausted and annoyed too!
That doesn’t mean you dislike people, but it could be possible that you don’t enjoy small talk. If you are forced to indulge in something you don’t like, then you begin to feel anxious and dread talking to people. Instead, you would enjoy an hour of peace and recharge yourself.
Let’s face facts: the more time we spend with others, the more we become like them. It might start to show up in small ways, in the TV shows you watch or the events you attend. But at times, the impact is much stronger. So, if you constantly pay attention to other’s needs and do not give time to yourself, then it can restrict your growth in a big way.
We aren’t discouraging you to take care of others and be there for them, but sometimes being too concerned about others can really drain you, thereby making you pay less attention to your emotional needs. Spending time alone, especially when you enjoy solitude, can lead to greater self-compassion, and that’s a great thing!