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Does your partner have dark personality traits? Here’s how you can tell

Updated on:19 June 2021, 12:47pm IST
If you’re someone who is involved with a partner who drains you physically and emotionally, it could be that he has a dark personality. Here’s how you need to identify, and get out of it!
Geetika Sachdev
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Stay away from those who have high levels of dark triad traits. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
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Ladies, who doesn’t enjoy a whirlwind romance that has everything you’ve seen in movies? What we mean to say is there are some people who enter your life, and sweep you off your feet with their larger-than-life persona. At the initial stage, it is their looks, charm and how they impress you with sweet nothings matters. But eventually, it is what is beyond the fluff that stays. And in many cases (not to scare you), there’s a completely different side that people show.  What we mean to say is there are multiple examples of both men and women trapping others with their lies and deceit, or having aggressive outbursts. 

Unfortunately, such relationships are both physically and emotionally draining. They make you feel as if everything is out of your control. What this means (most likely) that the relationship was with a person with the dark triad. So, how does one stop themselves from falling into such a relationship? Are there any warning signs?

Let’s get there, but before that, it’s important to understand what a dark triad really means. 

What is the dark triad?
Machiavellianism

This trait is present in a person who is manipulative, and uses people for their personal interests. 

Psychopathy

This shows that a person has a lack of empathy, and often seeks thrill and adventure in everything. He/she also has no sensitivity for other’s pain, and commits crimes without a worry. 

Narcissism

This is a person who needs admiration and a high status in society, and wants to get special treatment from everyone, all the time. 

IF your partner seemS to be dating the mirror instead, press pause immediately. Image Courtesy: Shutterstock
How to spot dark triad behaviors

If your partner has all these traits, you’re in for a lot of trouble. Of course, everyone has their weaknesses, but trust us, this is an all-new level. So, how do you protect yourself? By spotting some of the red flags. Ready to know?

1. Not so warm

Those with the dark triad are often not so pleasant and agreeable. They aren’t really warm and kind, and hardly get along with most people. Of course, they can pretend to be liked by everyone or try and sweet talk their way to get something. But the reality is something different. If they do not speak well to a staff member or are unnecessarily rude at their convenience, it isn’t a good sign. Worry not, sooner or later, you can spot this sign, and if you do, remember it spells trouble. 

2. Impulsive all the time

Being impulsive at times is not bad, but if you find them acting reckless all the time, then it’s a tell-tale sign we feel! Look out for them making rash decisions all the time, be it overspending money, committing small crimes, or doing things intentionally to hurt you. 

3. Dark humour

This might sound bizarre, but a person’s humour can tell a lot about them. If your partner tries to ridicule you or act sarcastic all the time, then it’s a sign that they might have dark triad personality traits. 

4. Difficulty understanding emotions

Those who have a high level of dark triad traits do not have great emotional understanding. Neither can they express themselves well nor can they be there for others. They do not believe  in self-reflection, and instead spend all the time thinking how they can benefit from others. 

A healthy relationship must be that of equals. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
Here’s how to get out of such a relationship

Trust us, it isn’t easy but you can follow these strategies to get yourself out of such a relationship.

1. Surround yourself with supportive people

Believe us, you might feel suffocated after being with someone who has high dark triad levels. Because they always play mind games. That’s why it is essential to spend time with those who are close to you. They will be able to restore your faith and trust to a certain level. 

2. Get your life on track

In extreme cases, a dark triad person doesn’t just rob you of your peace, but also your finances and freedom to move around. Work towards getting your life back on track. 

3. Make a clean break

This person might try and get back into your life, but remember you can’t go back to that relationship, even if you fell in love. That’s because they are toxic for you, and you can’t be happy with such a person. Oh, and if they try to gaslight you, and make you justify why you left them, please don’t fall into that trap.

Geetika Sachdev Geetika Sachdev

An independent writer and journalist, Geetika loves sharp and fresh humour, just like her coffee! If not writing, you'll find her cafe-hopping and raiding the best book stores in town.