Can you fix what’s broken? Tips to rebuild trust in a relationship

Your firm belief in reliability, truth, and strength in your relationship is shattered when your partner’s act of infidelity or just a set of lies or secrets takes over. A relationship without trust can only last so long! But what can you do when the whole idea of your relationship comes crumbling down in front of you? Do you fix it or do you walk away? 

The decision of whether or not you want to save a relationship by trying to rebuild trust is on you. But if you do want your relationship to recover, we may be able to give you some direction. Of course, the path will not be a cakewalk and might feel exhausting. But if you have decided, then here are some tips from emotional intelligence coach Shivam to help you. 

Signs of lack of trust in a relationship

Before we begin understanding how you can rebuild the lost trust in your relationship, let’s understand the signs of lack of trust in a relationship. 

• Less vulnerability 
• Inability to communicate openly 
• Lying and deceiving 
• The relationship is more about survival and less about growth

Can you build trust in a broken relationship? 

Once trust is lost in a relationship be it due to infidelity or any other reason, it is incredibly hard to rebuild it. But it is possible. “Trust can be rebuilt, but it will take a lot of time and understanding to get there. It’s a process. Don’t rush yourself into it.” If you feel lost, take your time to build a relationship. Plus, your path to resurrecting the lost trust also depends on your partner. Coach Shivam says that the possibility of fixing the relationship also “depends on the actions and the behaviour they are offering.” 

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Steps to rebuild trust in a relationship 

Here are some steps you can take to build trust in a relationship once again:

1. Don’t be hasty

While diving headfast into fixing a relationship can feel like the best thing to do, moving too fast can put a lot of stress on you. So, don’t rush the process! Depending on the betrayal, it can be difficult to forgive your partner instantly. But at the same time, you might feel pressured to take a decision. However, what is important is the healing process. “Your healing is important to be able to build the trust back and give it another chance,” says Shivam.

2. Do it for the right reasons

What you need is to “focus on why you are willing to make this relationship work. Your values and your need matter more than anything else here.” So, decide what you want to do. Do you really want to pick up the pieces and mend the relationship? If you don’t want to fix it, you are downright walking into something toxic.

3. Be conscious of their behaviour

Healing begins when your partner owns their mistakes! They show regret and remorse, not just damage and pain for what they have done. The expert says that you should be conscious of your partner’s behaviour. “More than actions and words, it’s the behaviour that speaks the truth of the person.”