We’ve heard of red flags and green flags in a relationship, but beige flags? Well, TikTok’s latest trend has found people posting videos about their partner’s beige flags. These are signs you notice in your partner that are neither good nor bad, but still make you pause for a moment before you continue building a bond. It could be bizarre habits. But this trend isn’t just restricted to relationships or marriages. People also start highlighting their traits in their best friends who don’t respond for weeks. The trend seemed to surface in recent months, but Tik Tok viewers started witnessing people posting beige flags videos last year, as per foreign media.
Apart from dating, relationships, or friendships, people started pinpointing beige flags in the world of online dating too!. You must be aware of all the pressure that comes along with creating the best swipe-right-worthy profile. From choosing your best picture to giving your best shot at short answer prompts, dating apps give you the only luxury to showcase the best and unique parts about yourself to all your ideal candidates out there. To top it all, you are restricted because of the limited character counts, and the already uneasy feeling of putting yourself out there in the public eye and hoping that someone finds you interesting and attractive. This all still feels like rocket science. But, some profiles are bleak and miss the mark. They are also the ones with beige flags. Yes, you heard that right! Gone are the days of red flags, beige flats are the new thing now.
Health Shots got in touch with Ruchi Ruuh, a relationship counsellor, and Shinjini Deb, Senior Psychologist, in Kolkata, to understand what are beige flags, and what beige flags to look out for in a person.
For the unversed, red flags in a relationship signal that you should just run away. Green flags mean go ahead with it and yellow flags ask you to move with caution. How are beige flags different?
“Beige flags are a newly emerged term in the world of dating. Red flags are the signs that give you a serious pause, while green flags are just the opposite. Beige flags are in the middle and describe traits in a person or situation as boring or uninteresting. It is a clear indicator in the person’s demeanour that ‘I am boring’ in early chats or phases of dating. These can, however, also be interpreted as something neutral (not positive, or negative, just odd),” says Ruchi.
“An odd or quirky behaviour that your date or partner has that doesn’t either add or devalue your relationship with the person. It is simply just there. Although it is important to remember that it is subjective. What you consider beige could be someone else’s red or yellow flag like placing a tissue on one’s empty cup of coffee, as narrated by one of the expert’s clients,” says senior clinical psychologist Shinjini Deb.
These could also be those online profiles that are bland and lack uniqueness and that edge that can tick mark the boxes in the possible-ideal-candidate checklist. Just by perusing the profile, you can infer that if given a chance to go on a date with this person, it would either be uninteresting or wouldn’t lead to anything good. Invariably, exceptions are always there as everyone is looking for different things in a person, but just the way we stay alert with the red flags, beige flags too need to be wary of.
According to Deb, knowing yourself and what you seek in a relationship will help you gain clarity over what you consider to be a form of non-evasive, non-threatening and bearable behaviour of your partner.”
To delve deeper, the experts list down some beige flags that you should stay alert about in online or offline dating, relationships or marriage.
As per Deb, “The way they talk or kind of conversation they tend to levitate towards. For example, whenever someone shares a sad story with your partner, he/she tends to click her tongue and nods her head to show that she understands or says ‘alright’ at least 2-3 times when discussing something important could be a beige flag for someone”.
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Lifestyle habits could be another aspect. For example, your partner can only sleep on the right side of the bed. Sleeping on the left side causes discomfort. This may be a beige flag.
For example, in the series called “F.R.I.E.N.D.S”, the character Rachel freaked out every time she saw someone touch his/her eye or try and apply eye drops to her eyes! Yes, this could be counted among a weird habit.
If a person’s profile is flooded with selfies, it could hint that the person isn’t having a penchant for any hobby or extra-curricular activity. “Generic photos such as selfies on their profile that essentially all look the same and indicate a boring lifestyle,” says the expert.
Boring captions like “Vacay mode”, “Work mode”, “Beast Mode”, “With friends”, and “Plant parent” are all oh-so-boring. These indicate a lack of effort or personality.
“Having just the usual hobbies like going to the gym, listening to music, petting animals, being a food lover or going to mountains don’t vouch for a person’s great personality. These lack specifics and lose meaning as we see them so often,” says the expert.
People with beige flags mentioned overused quotes, songs, and movie references. Quotes like “Ja Simran Ja” or “Bade bade Sharon mein” or quotes from popular sitcoms like Friends are old things now.
The expert says, “While chatting with people having beige flags, they prefer to keep the conversations on a surface level. They do not ask for any details or provide any about their trips. It might seem like they don’t want to dive deeper into conversations and only want to keep them on the surface”.
On the good side, when there is ample negativity on social media when people are only highlighting the red or so-called beige flags, there are people who are acknowledging the best qualities of their partner that feel less beige than as verdant green like being socially jovial are a treat to watch.