V-Day Special: We often overlook self love, especially in a relationship, says Ananya Panday

Taking a deep dive into Ananya Panday’s thoughts on love, is a fascinating revelation of a Gen-Z girl’s mature thoughts in times of modern relationships!

Ananya, whose latest movie Gehraiyaan, explores the complex subject of infidelity, opened her heart out about her idea of love, self love, intimacy and more.

In this engaging and thought-provoking chat with HealthShots ahead of Valentine’s Day, the 23-year-old actress talks about how five ideas around love have transformed for her over time.

Love

“For me, love is friendship. Mere liye pyaar dosti hai, as SRK (Shah Rukh Khan) sir says. It’s all about that connection, trust, and the ability to be yourself. I don’t think love is tied down to just a romantic relationship. Love exists everywhere. When I was younger, I used to think there’s this one big love that exists and you won’t feel love for anyone else. But I feel love for so many people – my friends, my family, everyone! So, I think my definition of love being tied down to one soulmate has changed growing up.”

Intimacy

“It is very important! When we use the word intimacy, we often mistake it only for physical side of it. But I believe that emotional intimacy is as important, if not more, than physical intimacy. I am the kind of person who wants to talk about everything. Communication is key to me in a relationship, especially. I need to be with someone who understands me, who doesn’t judge me, who lets me by myself, who I can have a conversation with without feeling that I may be judged or misunderstood. And also who I can just share a look across the room with, and
he understands what I am feeling.”

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Infidelity

“I would not like to say that I have had an experience of infidelity, because I am still so young… But I don’t think that the kind of person that I am, I will be okay with it (infidelity). That’s because I am an extremely loyal person. I place honesty and trust above all else. So, I would not be okay with it. But what I have learnt while doing Gehraiyaan is to not be judgmental. So rather than shunning the person
out completely, I may try to understand the reasons behind why they did it, what happened and all of that. I don’t think anything in life is unforgivable or irreparable. But it completely depends. I can sit here and say that ‘I am not okay with it’, but I will never completely know how I am going to react unless I am in the situation myself.”

Self love

“Honestly, I always say that ‘Main apni favourite hun’. I am learning to love myself more every day. I can’t say that I am completely in love with myself, and I am above everyone else. I don’t even want to think that way! But self love is so important, and we often overlook that. Especially when we are in relationships, we put our everything in our partner, and we empty out our whole love ka tank into the other person and don’t leave anything for ourselves.

“Growing up, I have learnt that you have to have conversations with yourself, love
yourself and give back to your own body. You have to make time for yourself, and things that you love to do, completely detached from what someone else loves doing. You have to build on your own identity. I am very hard on myself. I am an overly critical person. I tend to overthink a lot. So, I try to tell myself that it is
only human, and it’s okay to make mistakes. I think that conversation, that self-check is very important!”

Also Read: Come, fall in love with yourself by taking these 7 steps to unconditional self love

Singlehood

“To each their own, and whatever makes you happy at that point of life. I am a big, hopeless romantic. I love love, but I also think it is important to have that phase in life when you are single. You take that time out for yourself so that you discover who you are before you try to find out who someone else is. Otherwise, if you are insecure, unsure and still finding yourself, that reeks into your relationship. Everyone has a journey. There’s no right or wrong way. But it could definitely be helpful to just give time to yourself and to your own interests. Do things that you make you happy, and enjoy experiences that you can have on your own before you can start having them with other people!”

Gehraiyaan, on streaming platform Amazon Prime Video, also features Deepika Padukone and Siddhant Chaturvedi.