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A relationship brings a lot of changes to an individual. Where there is love, there are also responsibilities, care, conflicts, and several other ups and downs. However, things change when we talk about toxicity or abuse in a relationship.
Ending an abusive relationship can be very difficult. It should be noted that many victims of abuse do not all understand that they have been abused or that they have at some point been manipulated by the other. Why don’t the vast majority of victims leave? Knowing how to talk about the violence one suffers is important to get out of it. But perhaps it may be easier said than done. Each relationship is different. Each person is different.
But it is important that one knows that being in an abusive relationship can attack your self esteem, confidence, ability to look out for yourself, and general strength in dealing with your partner. Therefore, for the sake of your mental and emotional health, it is extremely important for you to step out if your relationship is toxic and not healthy.
We spoke to Dr Hirak Patel, Counselling Psychologist, Fortis Hospital, Mulund, Mumbai to understand about problems related to abusive relationships.
Dr Patel explained, “Abuse may be in different forms, from verbal to physical abuse. It takes a toll on one’s emotional, mental, and physical health. Thus, one needs to understand its impact and how it is creating disturbances in your life.”
The confusion and mental exhaustion from an abusive relationship subsides when you’re out of an abusive relationship. That’s when you begin to gain clarity on your truth and experiences. Dr Patel says, “Ending an abusive relationship will help the individual in several ways, both emotionally and mentally. It helps the individual get clarity about things, helps to focus more on oneself, and be oriented towards self.”
Abusive relationships lead to social and emotional isolation. They can also cause anxiety, depression, physical illness or even lead to suicidal thoughts and actions. However, the person becomes emotionally stable by ending an abusive relationship. It also helps an individual to bring back the belief within oneself and helps improve other domains of life.
As the relationship becomes abusive, it creates a lot of disturbances. By ending the relationship, one gets an inner peace where there is no fear or no pain that the person has to go through.
When you walk away from an abusive relationship, it shows your personal strength and the courage to stand on your own two feet, without someone else rubber stamping your daily activities or life. Dr Patel says, “In trying to stay with the partner, the person doesn’t focus on their worth, their self. By ending the relationship one gains a better understanding of oneself.”
Being with a toxic, abusive person can make you feel like you are being mentally broken over and over again. Coming out of an abusive relationship can give you a new perspective about what you might have overlooked in the past while you thought you may have met the love of your life. If you run into a person in the future who you think might hurt you, or acts in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you will find that you’re more able to take a stand.
Ladies, get the support from people around you. You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out and seek help – be it from family, friends, or a professional.