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They cheated on you with your best friend. Your co-worker tried to sabotage you at work. You’ve just found out you have been lied to. There are so many ways in which we can define betrayal. It can be the death of a loved one. The loss of a friend. Or, the feeling when your partner cheats on you. What is important to know, however, is that all forms of betrayal are equally destructive and only time will heal them if you allow compassion and forgiveness to rule your sexy, brilliant, divine being.
There are three things we can do to overcome betrayal: First, figure out why we were betrayed, while not blaming ourselves in the process. Second, we can use the event as an opportunity to learn about ourselves and other people. And third, we must forgive ourselves and others for what has happened.
While it may feel impossible to move past betrayal at first, it is possible with time and effort. With these steps in mind you will be able to get back on your feet and live your life again.
The first thing to do when hurt by betrayal is to understand what caused the betrayal in order to gain understanding, so that you can avoid making the same mistakes again in the future. Understanding what causes betrayal is key to overcoming it. It is important that we not just look at the current situation, but also look back at past events in order to get a more complete view of the situation and where our role stands.
The second thing to do when hurt by betrayal is to develop a personal code of ethics that will prevent you from getting hurt again when someone betrays you in the future. Your personal code of ethics could be to have emotional boundaries in your relationships and to be freely bold, unapologetic and expressive about those boundaries towards your future relationships. You deserve to be loved, respected and treasured in the fullest ways. It is okay to show other people how to love you the way that you deserve.
The third thing to do when hurt by betrayal is practicing self-compassion instead of criticizing yourself. Figure out how it has affected your life and what needs to be done next. It’s not easy to bounce back from betrayal but you have to give yourself time. If you wallow in your own self-pity or anger it will only make things worse for you. It doesn’t matter how long it takes for you to get over the pain of betrayal, just keep in mind that healing takes time and isn’t sped up by external factors.
No matter what has happened, remember to stay authentic and true to who you are. Do not let the things that have hurt you or the people who have betrayed you turn you into a person that you are not.
The fact of the matter is that your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. Remember, forgiveness for others starts with forgiving yourself for trusting them. You cannot control whether someone betrayed you but you can control whether to forgive them.