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3 tips to remember when you are dealing with rejection

Published on:22 January 2021, 18:22pm IST
Dealing with rejection is never easy. But the key is to ensure that you don’t blame yourself and grow from whatever lessons it has taught you.
Devina Kaur
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Rejection is almost never personal. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
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Have you ever been to a job interview and you were convinced that you aced it? But then the HR manager does a disappearing act on you, and you never hear back from them at all.

Or even worse, you are under the impression that you had a beautiful connection with someone that led to sexual intimacy, yet they ghosted you afterwards?

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Ouch! It hurts, doesn’t it?

These types of situations often come back as bitter memories. And sometimes we get stuck in the reality of rejection and feel as though our entire world is ending. I have personally experienced rejection a few times in my life, whether it was through very close relationships of mine or in a professional scenario. The sad part is that I allowed the rejection to manifest itself towards my brand and how I perceive my own self-image.

We need to have awareness about ourselves in order to combat feelings of rejection that we often place upon ourselves. Allow yourself to realize that rejection allows you to feel and experience the hurt that often comes with it. Emotions are not right or wrong, they simply exist.

Here are my top three tips to remember when you are dealing with the realities of rejection:

1. “It’s not you, it’s me”

This phrase may remind you of a typical Hollywood romantic comedy. You know, the typical guy meets a girl, guy falls in love with the girl but the girl (or vice versa) can’t commit because of emotional baggage and so she pecks his cheek with a gentle kiss and tells him, “I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me”.

Usually when that phrase is echoed, rejection hits hard because the recipient assumes they were not worthy enough of the reciprocation. What if I told you that oftentimes people really do mean it when they say that they are an issue, that the fault truly doesn’t lie with you but with them?

When facing rejection, keep in mind that it isn’t always about you and your worth. Sometimes the person doing the rejection needs personal intervention themselves and because of this, they are just not ready to receive the full package that you might be bringing to the table. So take a second to breathe, forgive them, forgive yourself, be thankful for the lesson they taught you and know that each encounter is a past karmic debt that is being cleared.

dealing with rejection
How to deal with rejection. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
2. Authenticity is your superpower

A woman who treasures herself enough to make authenticity her greatest ally is a super woman. I have always considered myself a highly ambitious woman. Cruising on this spiritual journey called life, I often hung onto things, people and opportunities that I so desperately wanted to be mine. I needed to feel a sense of purpose in whatever came my way, and rejection was sometimes a hard reality if I didn’t get my way.

By acknowledging my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities, and looking back to my experiences, I realised that I needed to be rejected and hurt in order for me to grow and be the woman that I am today. The same goes for you. Know yourself, your weakness, your unique brilliance and accept your weakness along with your bright side. No part of you is your enemy. Give space for your hurt and honour it. Be open about your rejection, share the pain if you can. When we are whole and complete in ourselves, we are empowered to be more authentic and when we are authentic, we are powerful.

3. Acknowledge your feelings

Acknowledge the feelings by acknowledging the help. The term “acknowledge” carries with it a significance that we tend to ignore or undermine in our daily vocabulary because when we acknowledge something—it means to confess, to accept, to appreciate and to allow.

dealing with rejection
Have you been feeling tired and drained amidst? You could be burnt out. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

The term’s greatest opposite is the word “reject” because when something or somebody is allowed or appreciated, rejection simply doesn’t have a space to thrive in. Acknowledging our emotions plays a great role in how we define ourselves as people because we can choose to either feel or block our emotions. That is why seeking professional help in the form of therapy, coaching, reading personal development books, and other great yet essential alternatives is part of what defines the meaning of acknowledging our emotions. When you begin the process of healing, it brings forth acceptance and self-appreciation becomes the end result!

Rejection is almost never personal. It’s a part of life but learning to manage it whilst stepping above what the world has conditioned you to believe about yourself is the ultimate goal for self-preservation. Remember, to love yourself through all your lessons and choose to be kind to yourself and others no matter how life tests you and always be gentle in your interactions with others.

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Devina Kaur Devina Kaur

Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious".