“I don’t want kids”! If that’s you, here are 3 reasons why it’s totally okay

Motherhood should be a choice, not a decision taken under pressure. Here are 3 reasons why it's okay to not have children.
reasons to not have children
Listen to your heart not society! Image courtesy: Shutterstock
Devina Kaur Published: 18 Oct 2022, 11:30 am IST
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Parenthood is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some want to embrace it, some don’t. Both ways, it’s okay. A lot of people can feel overwhelmed at the thought of having children. Being responsible for or nurturing another human can be a huge change. Not everyone is ready for it. You can love your friends’ children, adore your nephews and nieces and yet don’t wish to have one of your own.

Though societal pressure and maybe some other emotions like guilt, anxiety, etc might burden you from time to time, it is perfectly acceptable to not want children and here are reasons to not have children and how to convince your inner self for it.

3 ways to feel convinced that it’s okay to not want kids

1. Know and accept your true self

There can be various personal reasons for you to not want children. Parenting is challenging and shouldn’t be forced upon you by anyone, be it your spouse or family member. One crucial thing to discern is whether you don’t want children now or ever in the future. Whatever may be the answer, have an open and candid conversation with your partner so you’re on the same page. Once you understand and accept the reasons behind your decision, it becomes easier to follow the path.

reasons to not have children
Know your self-worth, girls! Image courtesy: Shutterstock

2. Unreal expectations

We all have been made to believe that a marriage without children of your own is incomplete. That children bring joy to your relationship and bring the couple together. This is not the absolute truth and you shouldn’t blindly trust it either. Giving life to another human being comes with its own mistakes, doubts, and stress. While it’s a whole different kind of love one feels for their children, it also comes with uncertainties and tensions.

Also, read: 5 signs of an emotionally immature person who can wreck relationships

Caring for children, especially when you’re not ready, can lead to depression and unhealthy relationships. This can spiral grief and guilt into your bonds with people around you, so it’s important to unlearn the unreal expectations of the society. It all starts with knowing who you are and what you want in your life.

3. Face the truth

Many of us are doubtful of our capabilities as parents and feel scared to embark on this new journey. Being terrified is normal and expected from new parents and they learn from making mistakes, it’s also a fact that some people aren’t exactly cut out to be parents. You can be in a loving relationship with your partner and not want kids because you desire something else entirely from your future. This is a radical truth that people find hard to swallow.

reasons to not have children
Emotional intimacy is a big part of making your relationship strong. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Children require your time and energy, constant care, and financial support which society tends to ignore but before bringing a life into the world, you must make informed decisions regarding your future plans including financial plans and choose the best decision for both of you. Learn to share your radical truth so that your decisions to not have or not have children are not questioned again and again.


While children bring joy to your world, if you’re not ready for them, there can be severe consequences that can strain you and your relationships. It is also important to be open-minded, and remember that what is right for you today may not be right for you three years from now, and it is okay to change your mind when you get new information and as you evolve as a human being. Living your life unapologetically is the key to inner wealth and true happiness.

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About the Author

Devina Kaur is an inspirational speaker, radio host, and producer. She is also the author of the self-help book called "Too Fat Too Loud Too Ambitious". ...Read More

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