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10 rules to become more emotionally resilient and cope with adversity in life

Published on:8 February 2020, 12:10pm IST
Don’t let your emotions rule your world. How? By adopting these 10 things that will help you be more emotionally resilient.
Nikita Bhardwaj
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Being prepared, recover, and adapt–now that’s what we call the science of emotional resilience. GIF courtesy: GIPHY.

Have you ever wondered why in particular situations you turn all red, while the other person is the epitome of Zen? One of the reasons behind this could be his or emotional resilience.  

You must be thinking what the hell emotional resilience is. In simple words, it is a person’s ability to get up and bounce back even in the most adverse situation. 

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We all have our share of difficulties but a person who resonates a positive frame of mind and is emotionally resilient can overcome any stressful situation much faster, suggests a study published in the Journal of Personality.    

In fact, if you are emotionally tough then instead of cribbing about the situation you will look at the brighter side and learn your lessons from a particular plight – ensuring that such adversity doesn’t strike you again. 

And FYI, being emotionally resilient doesn’t mean that you are stone-hearted. Instead, it means that you are in total control of your emotions. 

Lack of emotional resilience can have an impact on the decisions you make
Emotions play a real big role in making us who we are. Mostly, the decisions we make have a lot to do with how we feel. Science has also witnessed that less emotionally resilient people at times make decisions which are driven by their emotions and that’s why their fairness is under scanner. A study published in a journal Frontiers in Psychology claims it too.

how to cope with work stress
Take a deep breath and don’t let that pressure rule you. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

That’s why if you are in a managerial position it becomes all the more important for you to dwell on these skills as they come handy if you want to lead from the front. 

Some people are born emotionally resilient but you’ll be glad to know that you can develop it too
Yes, that’s true and all you need to do is to just follow these rules suggested by clinical psychologist, Dr Bhavna Barmi and incorporate them in your life to build emotional strength.  

1. Never say never
Quitting is not an option for people who are emotionally headstrong. Even if this thought reverberates in your head, you need to divert yourself with things like hearing your favourite song that pulls you up or getting involved in some work. Dr Barmi suggests chanting positive things like “I will and I can do this” and “I’m good at my job” to keep yourself going.

2. Overlook the obstacles and keep your eyes on the prize
Positive and negative attracts each other, maybe that’s why we waste our time focusing on the obstacles that’s between us and our end goal. Dr Barmi suggests that the smart move is to take a step back, reconnect with your goal, and look for solutions.

3. Find your purpose in your life
You know what’s the difference between a successful and an unsuccessful person? It’s just that the former has identified the purpose of their life.

Dr Barmi suggests:

Finding a purpose can lead to motivation and in case of grave tragedy it will also help the person in faster recovery.

4. Save your energy for the bigger tasks ahead
Another thing that we do without fail that leads to emotional turmoil and stress is bad time management. Unknowingly or knowingly, at times we tend to waste our time and energy on less important tasks and people who at times f@*k our mind space. So, it’s always better to prioritise your tasks and maintain a healthy distance with people who create distraction.

5. Be self-aware
Being impulsive is one indicator of a person who isn’t an emotionally resilient person. It is very important to be mindful of yourself and the situation so that you can handle the stress tactfully.

“To inculcate emotional resilience it is very important to identify the agents that drive you. This will also bring a sense of calm in you,” says Dr Barmi.

6. Cultivate healthy habits
You know what healthy habits are. What we want to tell you is that even the simplest of all i.e. exercising daily can boost your emotional resilience–says a study published in a journal Frontier in Psychology.

yoga poses for hangover
Yoga can do wonders for almost all problems. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

7. Be optimistic
Staying positive in this cruel world is hard but not impossible. In fact, a study published in a journal Clinical Practice and Epidemiology in Mental Health and our expert also place their bets on the funda of being positive–as it leads to mental peace and you can easily avoid panic in situations. If not completely then you can at least be equipped enough to deal with them.

8. Have a role model in life
An emotionally resilient role model will help you through and through. At times, we don’t understand how to react in a given situation but having a role model can give us that cue. You can think about how s/he would have reacted when s/he was in a similar situation.

“Having a role model with similar ideology can help you give a better outlook and aid your decision making,” suggests Dr Barmi.

9. Accept your flaws and embrace your strengths
Laughing off things can be a great tool–especially when you don’t want to lose your cool. Accepting your mistakes and learning from them is a great way sharpens your emotional resilience, suggests Dr Barmi.

10. Stop being a perfectionist
Being a perfectionist is like a perfect trap because if things are not done the way you want, then stress and anxiety can creep in. The result? Emotional turmoil. So, it’s better that you come out of this trap ASAP.

So, be gracious about life and if you still can’t look at the brighter side then do this: Every day write down five things you are grateful about. It could be anything from the tasty lunch you had or the sweet old couple you saw on the road. Try it because it has the power to turn you into an optimist and you can see that life isn’t all that bad.    

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Nikita Bhardwaj Nikita Bhardwaj

Six-pack abs are all that Nikita needs, along with her daily dose of green tea. At Health Shots, she produces videos, podcasts, stories, and other kick-ass content.