Is self-pleasure a sign of an unsatisfactory sex life? Experts weigh in

Published on: 9 December 2021, 16:30 pm IST

In case you find yourself leaning on self-pleasure or masturbation from time to time, there’s nothing wrong with that. It may spice up your relationship!

sex and ageing
Masturbate or meditate, both will calm your mind! Image courtesy: Shutterstock
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Do you have a partner you really love? But have you felt the need to pleasure yourself? Does that make you feel guilty? Well, if that’s the case, don’t get hyper at all! There really is nothing wrong with masturbation or even your partner doing that. Sometimes, we need that ‘space’ to explore our bodies, and then there are times when this just assumes the form of ‘self-care’.

Dr Niveditha Manokaran, dermatologist and venereologist, who also goes by the name of dr_nive_untaboos on Instagram, tells HealthShots, “We are in an era where we are talking constantly about self-care, self-love, self-worth etc. Are we supposed to do all those things only if someone else isn’t giving us that? No! We are meant to take care of our needs and wants, independent of whether someone else is providing us with it not or not.”

She adds, “Similarly, self-pleasure has nothing to do with whether you are satisfied sexually with a partner or not. It is more about exploration, self- satisfaction, knowing your body well and taking control of your needs. Masturbating is not a sign of unsatisfactory sex life.”

Why is self pleasure looked at in a negative manner?

If you are in a relationship, that doesn’t mean you can’t take care of your orgasms.

“In fact, self-pleasure to an extent actually helps in improving a relationship. It is completely normal and there’s no reason for you to experience any sort of guilt, “ says Shivika Sahay, a Delhi-based psychologist.

Masturbation
Masturbation helps you unwind and enhances mood. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

In fact, masturbation has several health benefits too:

1. It works as a mood booster

Dr Bhavana Barmi, a renowned clinical psychologist, tells HealthShots: “Masturbation releases dopamine and endorphins which kicks in the pleasure. Also, dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps in releasing stress and improves mood as well.”

2. It can relieve vaginal dryness

We all know sex can help in relieving vaginal dryness, but did you know that masturbation can also help you? So, you know what to do.

3. You can enjoy orgasms without any risks

The best part is that you can experience arousal without worrying about sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy. Isn’t that amazing? We hear a resounding YES!

When does going solo become an issue?

All is fair until masturbation starts to affect intimacy between you and your partner. For instance, if you only want to indulge in self-pleasure, and not have sex with your partner, it might be an issue. And in case you feel that you experience more pleasure while having solo sex, it’s time to speak wih your partner.

Masturbation
Don’t let self-pleasure make your sex life sad with your partner. Image courtesy: Shutterstock.

“You could masturbate with your partner by using a sex toy. It could really help to spice up your sex life,” says Sahay, adding that it is the frequency of masturbation that must be kept in mind. Once in a while, masturbating is not an issue.

Instead ladies, use it as a tool to understand your body better, so that you can have pleasurable sex with your partner!

Geetika Sachdev Geetika Sachdev

An independent writer and journalist, Geetika loves sharp and fresh humour, just like her coffee! If not writing, you'll find her cafe-hopping and raiding the best book stores in town.

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