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Sex and intimacy are some of the biggest taboos that exist in our society and it’s only because we have so much more to learn about it. As women, we have always been told not to embrace our sexual side because it goes against the norm of what a “real woman” should be in society. Breaking this glass ceiling has taken centuries and despite how far we’ve come in terms of women’s liberation—
there’s still a lot of work to be done to understand that sexual pleasure can be extremely empowering and confidence building.
Women are expected to be ‘pure’ virgins before marriage while men aren’t held up to the same standard. And so we have to face the shame and the stigma that comes with being sexually aware. Sex can be empowering for anyone, especially women and it is time that we embrace it to the fullest.
Here are my top three tips to embrace your sexual side:
Our sexuality is deeply rooted in our humanity because we were all birthed by the intimacy that occurred between two people. There’s no shame in loving our bodies and equally seeking the physical pleasures because it can be empowering and fulfilling.
Pleasure can be holistic and it isn’t always about engaging in the practice of sex, rather it is centred around mental welfare, body-confidence as well as self-love. We have to cease the belief that sex is demonising. Being able to have healthy sexual relationships is also an important aspect of our overall well being and can have an influence on our identity as a whole. Our sexual needs are not meant to be denied or hidden but rather meant to be acknowledged, accepted, loved and explored.
Humans are sexual beings. Humans are also spiritual. Spirituality is a concept that differs from person to person and it matters because of the crucial role that it plays in our lives as we function our way through society. Spirituality also plays a role in how we view and define sexuality and it’s not always as black and white as we sometimes make it out to be.
I usually say: “always speak your spiritual truth no matter how difficult it is” and this begins with self-knowledge. Know your good side and also know your weaknesses. Having self-knowledge allows you to become a better version of yourself that is beyond societal expectation and worldly convictions. Sexuality and spirituality are interconnected and it rewards the space of self-leadership and freedom in finding and acknowledging yourself as the person you truly want to become.
My ambitious side was always considered too much by those who tried to silence me and put me in a corner. After many years of struggle and a divorce, I realised that I needed to be true to myself by being the person I was meant to be which became the awakening of the sexy brilliance mantra. Just like spirituality, sexuality and ambition are nothing to fear or be ashamed about—especially if you’re a woman like me who believes she can accomplish more for herself.
Ambition can extend to our mind, soul and body and even the desire to have children. Being an ambitious woman is never an easy journey. There’s ambition in us wanting to feed our families and own businesses, there’s also ambition in wanting to find love whilst experiencing the pleasures that come with expressing that love in the bedroom or outside of it. Ambition can also include chasing a lifelong dream or being a stay at home mom to raise children. All of your ambitions matter but it requires constant self-study and radical growth.
Remember we don’t have to choose between our spiritual side vs our sexual side or our feminine side vs our ambitious side. All parts of yourself make part of the same whole and self-awareness is the first step towards knowing who you are and what gifts of yours can be shared with the world!