Orgasms after menopause: Yes, it’s possible!

If you’ve stepped into menopause and it has left your sex life in a dry state, fret not! An expert tells what you can do to for orgasms.
Headaches may come and go. Image courtesy: Shutterstock
Dr Gayathri BN Published on: 19 December 2021, 18:16 pm IST
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Your sex drive is like a cargo ship that sometimes sails conquering the waves and often comes to a standstill at the port. Our libido changes each day and it may throw you far off from the thought of indulging in sex during menopause. Some women may experience their sexual energies blowing up as they progress towards menopause, while some can see their love flame dying. Come, let’s talk about orgasms!

As terrible it sounds, loss of desire is common to hit you in the years before and after menopause. There’s a lot that our body goes through during this time. Your hormones go on a Willy Wonka boat ride as they shut down your egg shop. Changing hormones can make you despise sex or turn you off even when your partner makes the first move.

Women experience this repulsion to sex during their midlife. But is it acceptable to blame it all on hormones?

Here are other reasons that contribute to your recurrent lack of libido and orgasms:

  • Fall in sex hormones
    Both testosterone and estrogen are known to arouse you, hit rock bottom which negatively impacts our libido. Lack of estrogen also means dryness in the vaginal walls which may cause painful sex.
  • Stress
    Many women are knee-deep into their career and marital life when they hit menopause. Women may experience a low sex drive due to a number of worries on their plate. This problem may be linked to relationship troubles, too many responsibilities and even to the loss of a loved one. Stress is the number one mood killer for anything fun.
  • Hot flashes
    As our body undergoes new physical changes, some women experience hot flashes during the day or night. These can be mild symptoms or may stick longer for some.

    Hot flashes are common during menopause. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

While these issues can come forth, there are various notions linked to orgasms after menopause which are nothing but myths. We are busting one of the major ones by telling you that orgasms and great sex are absolutely possible during menopause and even beyond. Living an overall healthy life, having good energy, getting enough sleep, being physically active and eating well will go a long way towards helping you focus on and feel good about being intimate and sexual while you have reached the menopause phase and even after!

The ultimate guide to having pleasure and orgasms during or after menopause

Menopause is the time to experiment with new things or ways of touching or looking for new forms of pleasure. There are several changes in your body that can make experiencing orgasms like a distant dream. One of the highly common experiences is vaginal dryness and decreased pelvic floor tone after menopause. Additionally, various studies suggest that the blood reaches your genitals slowly after menopause. This implies that it may take longer to plummet to orgasm.

1 Take the focus off sex to orgasms

If you are not sure where to begin, start by experimenting with a sensual massage. Gently touch your body from head to toe to see which part of the body feels most pleasurable at the moment. Thereby, mark your personal pleasure points with body oil or lotion and like a map for you to explore. We can surely feel the heat!

Experimenting with different levels of pressure and ways to caress can feel extraordinarily absorbing! This practice will not only help in turning you on but will also assist you in understanding how you wish to be aroused post-menopause. It is self-pleasure and self-care in it’s true form to spoil yourself at the end of a long day. It can feel empowering in a way because it removes worries about painful penetration or physical issues from the equation.

Try finding out what gives you pleasure, and it will bring you closer to orgasms! Image courtesy: Shutterstock

2. Healthy vagina

The most common sexual problem that women experience during or after their menopause is pain or discomfort during or after intercourse or any feeling of penetration into the vagina. Many women and sex therapists recommend ‘use it or lose it factor’.

Regular sex, either with your partner, masturbation, or a combination of the two, definitely helps in keeping the vaginal tissues more supple and moist. The extension before insertion or as we call it in layman terminology, foreplay is always helpful even if discomfort isn’t severe. It is recommended that liberal use of a water-soluble lubricant can make intercourse more comfortable.

Having intercourse after a long time can feel impossible, but one should never give up. You can turn to medical assistance and use a small amount of low-dose estrogen cream applied at the opening and inside of the vagina right before diving into sex.

Basic strategies to get back in the ‘game’ after menopause

Many couples remain sexually active throughout their senior years. However, women may experience the lack of urge for sex but crave intimacy. So, cuddle often and hug everyday!

Women often give up on sex when they experience trouble in getting aroused or having an orgasm, but turning up on mental engagement and physical stimulation may help.

You must have read about communication being the key. It is the real key that can unlock your banished flames of desires. Talking to your partner about setting realistic expectations of sex and achieving intimacy as you age might help.

Menopausal women should also be aware of the risks of sexually transmitted diseases and infections, as they may not need a condom to prevent pregnancy but they still need protect against STIs.

Try steaming things up with a lube. Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Sex after menopause may require some changes, for instance, more time or more lube!

Women hitting their midlife may worry about their body, mind or appearance. The stigmas surrounding seeking female pleasure, let alone, seeking sexual stimulation during or after the menopause further add to the woes.

It then becomes imperative to connect with your emotions in a positive way. Tell yourself you are beautiful, love yourself for all your worth. It is also important to remember that sexuality and pleasure are well-within your control and menopause doesn’t change this fact. Yet, contrary to what others may believe or suggest, having sex in middle and older age is healthy, and absolutely possible!

About the Author
Dr Gayathri BN

Dr Gayathri BN, Consultant - Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Milann Fertility & Birthing Hospital, JP Nagar, Bengaluru

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