The second decade of the 2000 millennium has been quite a ride—even for women’s intimate health. While embracing their lady bits and finally talking about the vagina openly was a welcome change, certain vaginal trends that included some outrageous experimentation were nothing but cringeworthy.
Here’s looking back at all those trends and swearing never to try them in the new decade or ever, for that matter:
1. Jade eggs to strengthen vaginal muscles
It began with Hollywood heartthrob Gweneth Paltrow selling egg-shaped gemstones, a.k.a, yoni eggs on her lifestyle website Goop. These golf-sized gems were meant to be inserted into the vagina anywhere from a few minutes to overnight every day. All this, for awakening your “sexual chakras”, strengthening your pelvic muscles, and balancing your hormones—or so, claimed the website.
But just like Palthrow denied knowing anything about what she was selling on a chat show later, you should be wise enough to not use any such product. Because if the so-called “healing crystal” gives you a bacterial or fungal infection down there, Palthrow won’t come to your rescue.
2. Vicks VapoRub to spice up your sex life
When the American brand called its over-the-counter product ‘a gentle rub of love’, it really never meant for you to mistake the ‘love’ for ‘lovemaking’. God knows from where the idea of using this tingling balm on your intimate area to boost sex life, soothe itching, and maintain a pleasant odour—come from. The next time you’re struck by the thought of giving this one a try, remember that disturbing the natural flora of your vagina by rubbing Vicks on it can give you a terrible infection, apart from an unbearable burning sensation down there, of course.
3. Vampire injections
Several women also fell for the platelets-rich ‘O-shot’ injected into the clitoris and the vaginal wall in a big to achieve the big O. With no research to prove its orgasm-intensifying claim, the only thing you need to be concentrating on is the possibility of getting herpes and other infections in your lower genital tract through blood transfusion during the procedure.
4. Vaginal magnetic therapy
Imagine having to spend your day with certain therapeutic magnets clipped on to your underwear for the sake of managing the symptoms of menopause and period pain. Several studies including the one published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in 2007 as well as another one published in the British Medical Journal in 2006 found no evidence supporting this claim. Needless to say, the only thing it can give you is discomfort and probably even a rash from walking around in a heavy underwear.
Cleansing and exfoliating scrubs to remove ingrown hair and acid peels to get rid of the dead skin. Nope, this isn’t a description of any body polishing or facial treatment. Women actually put their pubic area through this torture in the last decade in a bid to combat vaginal dryness, make their vagina tighter, and improve its elasticity. Leave alone the acidic peel altering the natural pH of Miss Vayjayjay and increasing your risk of getting infected–what if the ingrown-hair removal gives you a painful abscess down there? Think about it.
6. Vaginal steaming
From using vapors from heated coffee beans to sitting on a mini throne emitting steam from below to squatting over a bucket of steaming, hot water–women actually fell for the steaming therapy to cleanse the uterus and the vagina. Until they were made to realize how the steam can increase the moisture in the intimate area and turn it into a very hospitable environment for bacterial and fungal growth.
7. Pubic hair experimentation
From pubic hair extensions to pubic hair dyes, the decade gone by saw women leaving no stone unturned to style their lady bush without fearing the risk of getting an infection. Bravehearts, huh!
8. Vaginal bleaching
Using bleaching creams for the face isn’t half as horrible as using them to bleach the intimate area in a bid to make it fairer. One, you subject your sensitive lady bits to harmful, chemical-laden bleaching agents. And two, you simply increase your risk of infections by a tenfold!
9. Kegel trackers
The last decade also witnessed electronic companies taking fitness trackers to a whole new level by introducing the kegel tracker, a device meant to be inserted into the vagina, strengthen it and track the activity and progress of your pelvic floor muscles. This became particularly popular amongst women who had just given birth and missed their once-tight vagina. Risk of infections is probably what scared off the users later.
Unfortunately, this non-surgical, non-invasive treatment, which includes plumping the labia and tightening the vagina is approved by the American Food and Drug Administration. So there’s nothing much to say here except this: Let nature run its course. Don’t fall for cosmetic treatments just because they seem enticing.
Once upon a time in the United States, many salons offered a bonus service to hair removal from your intimate area. This included airbrushing a temporary design of your choice on to your pubic area after stripping you off the hair protection down there. Surely, the design could last up to a few days, but the problem from infections including–the deadly toxic shock syndrome—could last till eternity.
Surely, bling has been in vogue for the past couple of years and continues to rule the trend chart in the year coming forth. But we just wish, the vajazzling trend of gluing rhinestones, crystals, and glitter to your vagina using Brazilian wax isn’t a part of it anymore like it was in the year 2017!
13. Vaginal mints and perfumes
Apart from making the vagina smell heavenly, these odour-masking products also created a safe haven for the bacterial and fungal infections to thrive down there and ruin your intimate health to bits.
Several surgical and non-surgical procedures promising to give you a tighter vagina and boost your sex life crept their way into the last decade. Believe it or not–vagina-shrinking gels were also a part of this movement.
15. Wasp nest insertion
Those who couldn’t afford the vajuventation procedures simply went back to DIY jugaads like inserting wasp nests in a bid to dry the vagina for increased friction during sex. The risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease from a possible abrasion during painful intercourse took a backseat, but somehow better sense prevailed and this trend fizzed out later.